February 1st, 2006

connor O

ANGER!

OKAY!! soooo where to start off... I am in the worst mood of my life right now...

We were supposed to go clubbing tonight... But i decided to not lie to my parents and just come home.. You know, do the right thing.. SO then i come home and tell them the truth and tell them why i am back home.. and in return i get "whats wrong with your eyes!? what have you been doing tonight?! why are you acting weird?!" FUCK YOU!!! I dont smoke weed, i drink once in a while.. Pretty sure i was completely sober.. I try so hard to not stress you out and i try not to lie...a nd just try to make you happy and proud.. NO matter what i do its not good enough.. Thanks soo much i just got a bunch of my friends pissed off at me for bailing.. FOr being honest to you.. I get a kick i the ass in return.. LIke it wouldnt even be as bad if i acutally was high or something.. BUt i dont do that shit.. I should have just lied.. and went I would be there having fun right now instead of sitting in this hell hole being pissed off.. FUCK YOU im leaving.
wonka candy vs liquor

House vs. home

So...I wrote this after we got an assignment in creative writing. We were talking about 'my house,' 'my home' and 'my home away from home.' Well. I learned I feel like my home is a house. If that makes sense. It prob. will when you start reading the poem that was inspired by the assignment.

Trapped.
Stuck, unable to get out.
Trapped.
And all I can do is pout.
Why is it called a 'home?'
A house is what it feels like, when I'm alone.
Alone in my mind,
Alone in my heart.
You may still be there
but it feels like we're apart.
Pain.
Pain's got a hold of me.
deep inside my heart,
hidden for none to see.
You don't care like you say you do,
and everything you say makes me blue.
I spend most of my time away,
because near you, I can't stay.
Your words drag me down,
and they turn my smile into a frown.
--
I'm not staying at home until after college. No f-in. way. I'm not going to be my brother. I want out. I want to live on my own. I don't want to rely on you for everything for my whole life. It's not in my plans. But then you never did care about MY plans did you? You only wnat what's best for YOU. Thanks mom. I love you too.
  • Current Music
    the sound of the computer whirring.
TV- Spartacus- Warrior

(no subject)

Dear God,


You take the brightest of people from us. They illuminate our lives, and when they are gone, rooms darken, and echos ring in our souls.

Why God, why is it everytime a light shines, death darkens it? Why oh why...
firefly<3

(no subject)

one day
i am going
to have a sudden spark
of insanity
go through me
on the way to 12th period.

this spark
of insanity
will cause my
muscles to spasm


my feet will jump up to my
tip toes
and
my hand will find the side of your face

and my mind will heave a sigh
because it can stop day dreaming
about your lips against mine.




i keep saying i hate this.
the truth is i love it
and i dont ever want this game to end.
  • Current Music
    hey there delilah