January 28th, 2006


(no subject)

i'm sitting here crying.
i cant take this anymore.
everything is finally clicking and i hate that it is, because i want to believe in the idea of us with my entire being.
the thing is i finally understand.
i can't just be friends with you.
i just dont want to give in to the truth.

i really wish i could actually tell you this, but i dont think i could honestly continue to go to school and see you all the time and not just freak out.

i love you.
im sorry.
im really really really really really sorry.
im so sorry.
i hatemyself for this
and i ahvent cryed this hard in so long.

(no subject)

dear Hun,
things have been different lately. I'm not sure if it's been because since we got back I've been sickc a lot or if things are just moving faster then I thought. You're flying with me all the way home to meet my parents and family. that's a huge step for both of us. I know you're nervous about that but my family will love you. I love you so they WILL love you.

tonight at dinner I mentioned how you were finished a huge meal in the time it took me to eat one popsicle and you said that that should mean our kids will eat normmally perhaps. You mentioned our kids...I know you're thinking about the future and I love that but not forget about the here and now. we went on our first real date this weekend and I couldn't thanks you enough for that.

and then tonight you mentioned about being on the lifetime plan together. I love you and how you think about our future like I think about it but it seems that I worry about things that you might think of.

either way I love you and I hope you know that. thanks for trying to make me feel better tonight.

love always,

I was a fool you were my friend we made it happen.

Dear Nate,
Enough fooling around. We need to get serious.
We act like a couple but never annonce it.
People assume but we never had any agreement.
Are we just really close friends or something more?
You only act like it's something more when Caitlin's not around.
Then it's the 3 of us and we're normal.
But when it's me and you, it's a diffrent story.
Will you please just tell me how you feel?
I'm up for whichever relationship you want.
I just need to know I'm not mistaken.
I just need to know I'm something you need.
I don't think I'll ever feel this way about you again.
So, you need to make up your mind.
Everyone is telling us how we belong.
We're just denying it.
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