January 17th, 2006

wonka candy vs liquor

drifting apart...


Heh. That's probably the last time I'll call you that. And it's sad. Thinking about it, makes me miss you already. But there's nothing left for me to do. I've matured, you haven't. Friendships don't always last forever...And maybe in time, we can try again. But to do that, you're going to have to show me something majorly different.

You've just hurt me too much for me to change my mind. And I dunno, I believe in second chances, but only if there's a change made in both people. And I've changed, but you're still stuck in the past...and I feel like I'm going to repeat sophomore year ALL over again. Yeah. sophomore year sucked, and a lot of it was because of you. And I'm not going to have a sucky senior year. I'm just not. It hasn't been great so far, but it'll get better. And I can only see it getting better if I'm not your friend. And that really hurts me to say/think. But it's the truth. And I'm not hiding the truth from you.

I hope you can forgive me someday...

your once good friend,
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    the computer whirring.

Why Him?

Kevin went to the hospital the other night. I am so mad at him. I just found out about that last night when I called him after getting out of work. Why didnt call me on the way to the hospital? I am supposed to be there for you, I am supposed to be by your side, thats what I am here for right? No, instead, I find out the next day. Wow, that makes me feel like nothing, makes me feel like crap. I am supposed to be the one who is taking care of you, the one that is supposed to be by yourside. Why do you have to be so difficult? Why must this be some kind of chase. What do I have to do to prove my love to you? I love you so much and it kills me, it rips me apart that you wont let me take care of you. I want, why wont you let me? PLEASE? What else is there left to do..what is it going to take? I hope we dont have to break up sometime soon AGAIN to realize that we dont want to be without eachother...I cant take that again. I know you said on the phone last night that we were okay when I asked you, but why does that okay not seem like enough? I just dont know what to do...anymore...my heart is crying...
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