January 9th, 2006

(no subject)

Sarah-
I am sorry you are so hurting that you have to act out the way you are. If you feel our relationship was a lie, or was as bad as you are now saying it was, then maybe you need to figure out what part you may have played in it as well, and why you are still holding this bitter passion for me. If you are so glad to be rid of me and all that you say I am, then why don't you cut your losses? Why do you care what I decide/d to do with my life from the day you got me to break up with myself for you. I am not angry at you, even for the words you have said to and about me since our end. I feel no bitterness or resentment towards you. Try all you want, but you will not trap me into saying mean, cruel and harmful things about you. I refuse to. I am more than capable of coming up with things to say and points to make that will make others see things my way as well. I have issues with us, with you.. but the difference between the two of us, is I am not going to allow myself to give into them. My angers at you are temporary. You did me the largest favor by allowing me to love you (no matter what you think I actually felt, what I felt for you was real to me) and you have done me a even bigger favor by setting me free of us. You are more than welcome to feel any way you please and I do not begrudge you those feelings. I just hope someday you can find peace with the demons you seem so hard to deny are there within yourself. I knew quite some time before you actually let me go, that you no longer wanted me, that you really had stopped caring, or at least stop acting like you did. This didn't come as a shock to me, maybe thats why I am not anger and you seem to be. I wish you nothing but joy from this day forward. May you find yourself at your best.
  • Current Music
    The Letting Go - Melissa Etheridge

(no subject)

Daniel

Thanks for the first time - it was awkward, clumsy, and painful. Sounds about right.
Me

Anna

I severely do not care that you still like him. I know I should show some compassion - I am a girl, and know it's not uncommon to have feelings for your ex - but you treated him like hell, and honestly: The best thing he ever did was leave you.
So, punch me in the face in Trig if you find in necessary -
Me

Me

Stop freaking out. You hate the stupid girls who make their first time out to be some big huge deal. Stop acting like those girls, damnit.
Me

(no subject)

I am the girl you know can't look you in the eye
I am the girl you know, so sick I cannot try
I am the one you want, can't look you in the eye
I am the girl you know, I lie and lie and lie

I'm Miss World
Somebody kill me
Kill me pills
No one cares, my friends
My friend

I'm Miss World
Watch me break and watch me burn
No one is listening, my friend
Yeah

I made my bed, I'll lie in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it
I made my bed, I'll lie in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it

Kill girls watch when I eat ether
Suck me under
Maybe forever, my friends
Yeah

I made my bed, I'll lie in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it
I made my bed, I'll cry in it
I made my bed, I'll lie in it
I made my bed, I'll cry in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it
I made my bed, I'll die in it
My friend

I am the girl you know can't look you in the eye

(no subject)

Dear You,


It's been about a month and a half since we broke up. Honestly, I still think about you constantly. I never wanted this to be so messy. When it came down to it, I was a shitty girlfriend and you were a shitty boyfriend, but we didn't need to end like this. We were real and true and everything I wanted out of my first love. And I'm sorry a million times over. This isn't what I wanted when I broke up with you. It breaks my heart that I can't talk to the boy who was my world for almost a year. I take full blame for everything I did; I was scared. But I still hold you to not being honest with me. You were the one that said I was the only person that knew everything about you. But in the end, you chose to avoid me rather than tell me the truth. You, boy known for telling the world how it is, couldn't confront the one person in the world that it truly mattered for you to be honest with. I had to confront you with the things you needed to I gave you my everything and it hurt when I finally realized that no matter how many times you told me, we weren't meant to be forever. I've tried let you and it go, but I'm still here.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes, I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So, I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart, you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be.
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine,
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Love,
Me.

(no subject)

He was a boy, she was a girl,
can I make it anymore obvious?

She was so sweet, he broke her heart,
And it tore her whole world apart.

They dated, and loved
but he thought the game was more fun.

When he left that night, she never fixed,
how could her life ever get more mixed?

He was the perfect boy, but he left her like a toy,
She wasn't good enough for him.
She was the perfect girl, but couldn't fit in his world,
And he moved on with his life....

(no subject)

dear you
if this gets back to her, i'm dead.
you're her boyfriend and i love you to death
you share all my secrets, and all my fears
you understand what its like for me
and i dont know how.
i care about you mroe than anything
known you since 8th grade, we had a crush on each other, and never told
now it comes back to bite me in the ass.


you're going to be there for me, and i for you.

thanks for all the times you listened to me cry while you could have been with her, as well.

love, me.

(no subject)

Early this morning, before going to bed I sat down and wrote a letter.
I wrote a letter to the people that have meant something to me. A long letter.
A letter for them to read If I ever die unexpectedly.
I don't know what came about me, why I just had to write this letter...and maybe I never will.
I'm not expecting anything to go wrong, I'm not planning on anything bad...but people rarely do and stuff like that happens everyday.
If anything does happen, I'd like it posted on here.
<3

Boy,
You're really that excited to go out with me? There isn't much of a change from when we were "blah" before. Is the title something that you can smile about now? I can't say I have been much happier then I am at this time with you. I love you, and I don't think that is going to change anytime soon...lucky for you 'eh? tothemoonandback <3