I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

Name censored because it's the Christian thing to do
[Not: It's really because it truly just makes me sick to type it]

Y'know. It's really not cool to try and rape girls.

Seriously, jumping on Dani like that was one thing - but fetting on top of me? That's just sick and stupid. I hope you know how sick you make me.

Me

Ps.: Although, I was morbidly impressed with out fast you got your tongue in my mouth and your hand up my shirt. Really, nice talent - put that on your resume, asshole.

don't you hate it when there's those girls that i swear, are just about to make you feel shit about yourself and steal lads:P! well perfect example of it this time, sarah. always seems to do this with lads, but now, she started flirting with mitch online+ laurie asked her not to cos she likes him or whatever, and sarah went all defensive and bitchy, saying she wasnt blah blah+ she wouldnt do that to her etc.. so then hmm it was a dodgey way to take it. BUUUUUUUT... then, next thing, she's got his msn... been messaging him on myspace, got his number and they liek eachother? fuckin unbelievable. upsetting my laurie liek that. and fuckin expecting usall the time to do these shitty 'group get togethers' like i moan about sometimes... when supposedly all these 'friends' of ours, will go and do that.

i hate how some people can literally just flirt and lead on all the lads, and barely any of them will not be affected. it pisses me off soo much, that nicer people have to work ten times as hard to get anything. its just like most things really, better looking people seem to get more attention, in some cases off lads you wouldnt want anyway, shallow bastards like:P. but im afraid it works teh same for generally nice lads, cos they just get fooled and think they are the only one:( . its sooooo sucky.

how come some people care about other people's feelings + then, others just fuckin dont?

 

dear you,
i want you to be happy. i don't agree with what you are doing. you don't make any sense. and to be completely honest, this hurts, alot. but lets try to look at us as a good memory. not something to be sad over.
love, me

Dear body.
Honest truth im scared stupid.
Why cant the pain go away, just for at least a little while. Ive been in pain in the past but this is realy different and I dont know what it is. I cant sleep at night because my ribs feel like ive gone 10 rounds in a fight. It hurts to breath. It hurts to even move. I dont have anyone left to talk to. The only people that im still close to I dont feel close enough to talk to. Im willing to admit that in the past I have dealt with alot, medical wise, but nothing has ever scared me like this. Mabye its just the fear of the unknown but something about this all feels wrong. Worst part is I dont wanna go to the doctors cause I cant take any more bad news. In the past few months I have had my life torn to shreds and I dont know why. Ive lost two people who mean more than anything to me and I would give up my life to have there friendship back in my life. I just hope that they realise how much they mean to me. I just wish I had someone to talk to. Im scared and feel so alone in the world.
What if its something serious?
It could be anything from another lung infection to a problem with my kidneys. I just dont know how ill cope with more bad news.

Please God let it be okay. Please let it be okay...
xx