December 30th, 2005

(no subject)

Dear </3 :
You left me for her. And now you know what...she has you. She hates me. You want us to be civil, well damnit I'm sorry we can't be. I hate that I care that someone I barely know calls me horrible things and yet you still are with her. Even after you tell me you still care about me. I wish so hard at night that one day you will just give up and stop talking to me, but then I start to think what my life was like before I met you...and I don't want to go back to that. I just want to be your friend if we can't be together. But you can't do that can you? No, you have to play with my emotions and screw me up. Don't tell me you love me but are with her in any way. I don't want your love, in that sense. I feel so fucking screwed up. I can't even think straight sometimes cause my mind wanders back to you. Not that that's a bad thing sometimes but it's just so confusing. I don't get what happened between us. I doubt I ever will. But you have to understand you promised you would never hurt me or leave me...and that's just what you did.