December 13th, 2005


heey urrhm.. i thought this was true:P

i found this on a myspace bulletin, but i just thought it had truth in it so i would post it !!! hope no one has a problem with it, but im sure this is what most girls would like to say to particular lads, so heres my letter to you!! lol


There are some girls in this world who need to WAKE UP and treat other girls with abit of fairness.

I for one am honestly sick to death of slutty girls getting all the attention from lads;; playing around with them and then tossing them away [or tossing them off; whichever happens to come first]

These girls give nice girls like us a bad reputation, they stop us getting the boys of our dreams and they generally fuck up things for everyone except themselves.

Every last one of you probably know a girl like this; or several - who's heads are in the clouds and who doesn't give a crap about girls who genuinley care.

So boys; listen up - its time to give the nice girls a chance.
- The pretty girls; who don't OD on fake tan and false nails.
- Who won't give you a blow job on command;
- But who are kind, good hearted and funny; without letting it 'all hang out' to you.
- The originals, who's laughs will make you go weak and who's smile will melt your heart.

Instead of banging the nearest slag to you.

If theres a girl you like let her know - tell her she's 'beautiful' and it'll be 100 x more than telling her she's 'hot'.

Tell her you want to spend the day with her; not that you want to fuck her into next week.

Spend time getting to know her; gurenteed she'll be more interesting than that slut you kissed last week.

And put these girls back in their place - the gutter.


  • Current Music
    bleeding through- kill to believe

(no subject)

I think this thing you're calling a 'break' from eachother...
its just a time off from me while you fuck a few girls.
Then you're gonna be done with them and you're gonna want 'us' back.
Haven't you done something like this before?

Amazingly, Im feeling alright. I haven't cried since when you took your stuff and gave me a hug and kiss. I didn't even cry when you weren't here.

I know what I mean to you, and I know what they don't mean to you. It just makes me sad that you can throw yourself into the 'typical guy' category.

But actually, Im getting more and more numb to the thought of you fucking anyone but me.
Just because I've realized that I think you're gonna regret it one day.
Kinda like you regret the whole Amy v. thing.

I lost 6.5 pounds since November 17. Im not wearing make-up anymore. I don't care if I dress sloppy sometimes. Im going to continue to lose weight, and I don't care. Im not taking prozac. I don't have freckles or an extremely tiny body with sticky outy bones. I don't have the best eyes in the world. I don't have the cutest nose...Im sorry I lack all of the key ingredients. Im still prettier than them, simply because I love you. I don't blame myself anymore for you wanting to 'do' them.

Im okay with you not being here everynight. Im even okay if we don't kiss. I just like to still give you pecks because its nice. Im okay with you wanting to take a break. Im okay with them having you for a while. I feel better about myself knowing Im not a typical girl, even though you think I am sometimes. Maybe the only reason Im okay is because I have to be, and because I know that you love me.. but most of all Im okay because you're still around to watch movies with me. As long as I see you sometimes, Im pretty sure Ill force myself to get over all this. It still hurts.

Sorry Im writing all this. I don't feel as though my livejournal is the place to write it.

I love you with all my heart, and I will be there for you...
I can't wait to go to Armor for sleep with you. I think tickets are out already. I have to get them for us ASAP. Please don't back out on me with this concert.

Im still getting you a christmas present, even though all you fucking want for christmas is Heather.
Last year I said we would go out within the next 3 years. Well, we almost did. Maybe we will someday. Heh. Maybe Ill be right.

Or maybe that Mark kid will fall madly in love with me. That would be nice.

I wonder alot of things. But if I write out what I wonder, I think I'll cry. So, Im not going to do that. Im going to make a mix and watch TV and ignore my own thoughts as a way to save myself.

  • Current Music
    Saves the day-Sell my old clothes, Im off to heaven

*The First Fight*

How can I be so stupid? Why did I turn our fight to be focused on me when really he came to me and opened up? The first time a guy has ever came to me and opened up...thats all I ever wanted in a guy..for him to be open and he did and I went and fucked it up. He went to Kate! Another girl to talk to? can I be stupid? Hes mad that this girl made out with him a month ago and two weeks after that happened she went and made out with his best friend. He is mad at that! WHY? Is there something wrong with me? Why does this always happen? Why does that bother him? Why is he even with me...

I hate this....
  • Current Music
    None at work

Dear Mom,

You're so annoying. The only thing you do is watch TV. Can you please shut it when we are studying? No you won't do that coz you think you're all that. Will you just shut the fuck up and stop gossipping around? It's fuckin annoying when you keep complaining about the same thing over and over again. I know whatever happened wasn't good, not even close to good but still just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! How can we ever be peaceful if we hear the same shit over and over again? Fuck! You always act as if we are always wrong and you are always right. But you fuckin are most of teh time wrong. You never try to understand what your kids are saying infact you act as immature. It is you who is supposed to be convincing/compromising/understanding kids but at the end I have to be so. If you do your job being Mom then probably your kids would respect you more than they do now.

Thank You,
I <3 NY!

(no subject)

Dear Dayton,

I seem to care too much about people, and sometimes I hope that you at least care about me a little. We've known eachother for about almost 3 months now, and I'm just in that point in my life where I would like to get to know you a little bit more and try dating. I try not to get my hopes up with you, no matter how hard it is. I just don't want everything to end badly since it's hard to deal with things afterwards. I just think sometimes that you couldn't possibly want anything more to happen between us, since you could have any other girl you wanted. I don't see myself as being special or even worth it for that matter. Then I also think to myself that I'm just as good as anyone else and deserve anything that I want. le sigh Maybe one day soon I should tell you at least a little bit of how I feel. Hopefully something good will come out of this and that I don't end up wasting my time with you in the end.


  • Current Mood
    confused confused

(no subject)

Dear Jay,

You suck. I loved you more than anything and I would have done anything to make you happy. Thanks for wasting 11 months of my life. Oh, and happy birthday.
  • Current Music
    Blur - Song 2

(no subject)


I'm sorry. I really am. But you already know that, so I don't know why I'm bothering to say it again.
I know what I did on Saturday was wrong, and I feel so bad because of it, and I apologised so much to you on the phone. I said sorry so many times. And I know its hard for you to forgive me, and I completely understand that. I was a complete bitch to you.
But...I just want you to understand a few things before you pass your final judgement on me and our friendship.
First of all, it wasn't only me, okay? I don't care what anyone else said to you, it wasn't only me.
It was me, Leah and Ollie. And sure, I know you would believe Leah over me any day, but I promise you, it was her as well.
Because, be honest with yourself. Do you really think that I am such an intimidating bullying person that Leah would be scared into doing something that she really didnt want to do because I told her to? No.
She chose to do those things by herself, for herself. She isn't the saint you make her out to be, you know.
She said a lot of shit about you as well. I wasnt the only one in the wrong, I wish you would accept that.
She was the one saying "Oh god, its Marleigh, I better not answer it. i really dont want to see her." and "im not texting her back, who cares?" and a lot of other stuff.
So yeah, theres your reality check on her.
And of course, Ollie was completely go-for-it.
But then, what would you expect of him.
I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for what happened. And it really does hurt to know that you've already forgiven Ollie and Leah, when they were just as involved as I was.
And I know you said that this broke our friendship and it will take a lot to mend again, but why not the same with them? I just dont understand!
Why cant you ever see past my blame? Why is it only me?
Oh, I know, its probably because I'm "The Martyr."
The last two days at school have been so awkward. I mean, we'll talk and stuff, but it's really not the same is it? Yesterday morning you ignored me completely, understandably...But I dont know, Marl.
I think I would have preferred it if maybe you would have ignored me completely yesterday and today rather than been so uncomfortable with me. Kind of on acquaintance level or something. But not even that, because you can tell that theres so much hate for me going on under there.
And it's just the little things that have started to hurt.
Like the way you hardly ever call me Livi anymore, just Olivia.
Or the way you don't hug me at the bus stop anymore.
or how nothing I ever say seems to matter to you anymore.
And I know that I'm being, if I havent been already, replaced with Lora as your closest friend, but I think I will be able to accept that. And I guess, in a way, it might be a relief.
It might be a relief to know that I wont get texts at three AM telling me about how many pills you've taken.
It might be a relief not to have to worry so much that your slowly starving yourself to sych an extent that its the most serious thing i've ever seen.
And heck, it might be a relief not to have to feel so down all the time because someone I considered one of my closest friends in the whole world just doesnt seem to care anymore, and I cant ever talk to her, not about how I feel about anything, even though she tells me her opinions on me and the people I care about very often.
So I dont know if this is the curtain call on our friendship, or if its just the start of something new where we're not as close anymore.
But whatever happens, I hope your happy in your decision.
Because I'm leaving it all down to you. I swear here and now, Marleigh, this is completley your decision, and whichever one you make, I hope it's for the best, because I will follow it completely.
Olivia xx
  • Current Music
    Sunny Day Real Estate - Killed By An Angel