December 12th, 2005


This sucks...I didnt get to see you at all for the past two days. Instead, you went out and hung with Andy and went to Luckys. Sorry that I didnt want to go...I just didnt feel like driving plus I was tired. You did leave me a sweet message that makes me feel better...I dont know. Grrr..please...I hope to see you tonight when I am done with work. I want to be in your arms again.

Friends: Thanks for the new two people that said Hi...I am looking forward to hearing everyones advice and I hope that I can be the same help with you all.
  • Current Music


Dear Amber Eyes,

I'm so sorry. I never meant for my words to bring you this grief you feel. I cant stop thinking how that, as I sit here typing this, I know your sitting in class, your mind on fire with a thought and feeling that I never wanted to bring you. I wish there was a way to show you that this it's my fault and that it burns me alive to know your in pain over all of this. Words cannot express how sorry i am.

I love you more that anything else in the world.
I always will, and I'll never stop caring about you. never.
..I promise.

  • Current Music
    Armor for Sleep~Basement Ghost Singing

(no subject)

Dear Greg,
Now this isn't like the other notes, filled with words of love and heart. I still can't breathe whenever I think about you, and I hope your chest constricts as tight as mine when ever anyone says the name Emily. If it didn't I would be surprised. I hope that your lungs can't expand without the rememberance of me.
Everytime I see our pictures I just want to tell you that I love you as the first and forever. I want to scream at you and tell you that my heart is broken, and you broke it, and I heard yours crack too when you said "I think we should take a break." That wasn't the first time I couldn't breathe because of you.
Other times it was because your hands were running down my body, or I could feel your tounge in my mouth and our sincere beauty would stop my heart and breathing if only for a moment. Every moment we were together, was perfect.
I just want your breathing to stop like mine does sometimes. ♥
  • Current Music
    The Veronicas

(no subject)

We're really going to try again? You really think this is worth it. You promise? I know how you get though...we bring it up and you get scared of being alone, so for a couple weeks after that you can't leave my side. Is it just going to go back to the way it has ben for a while? Are we going to fight on the phone close to every night? Are you going to get jealous of my guy friends and retaliate by hanging out with girls? Am I your big mistake that you will regret years later? ..or are you mine? I know we're young and it's not like we're getting married but how can we have so many problems when we're not even dating anymore? We dropped the title, but not the problems...where did we go wrong? You're the only person that means anything to me...and I wouldn't mind spending forever with you... I just wish relationships weren't so hard sometimes.

I'm done with you. Goodbye. You wont be missed...

New friend,
I'm here if you need me. That's all I can really say. <3's

Permit please?

Time to grow up. Don't be scared. And I know you wish you had friends to grow up with...but this time your alone. Like every other time. You're used to this.

(no subject)

i really tried not to im you.
im really disappointed in myself.
but ever since the other day i've been feeling pretty vulnerable.
i dont like it
and i dont like you
but ive been lonely and hurt.
and i just wanted someone to pretend to care for a second