November 28th, 2005

(no subject)

A, why is it you feel the need to lie to everyone? I've put up with your lies for almost five years now, and I must tell you I am at my breaking point. I know it all stems from your home life and that is why I stick by you, because I love you and you are one of my best friends, but sometimes I just can't deal with you. You thrive to be better than me at everything and it annoys me. Everything I do, you have a story about how you are better at it. I don't want to loose you as a friend, but I don't know what to do with you anymore.

C, I must admit that I am getting sick of you. I hope you do know that I don't consdier you my best friend anymore. I barely even consdier you a friend. All you care about it your new boy and Stack. Mike is going to break your heart, I hope you know that. He is bad news. Not that you would listen to me, you are to stuck up and full of yourself. Your attitude towards me last night didn't bother me, saying you had plans with Stack wasn't a surprise. You are always with her. It really is a shame our friendship has gone downhill, but maybe it was for the best. Every since the boys show things have been different, maybe it's because you made that immature comment, need me to remind you? "If you ever tell me anything you and Brandin do, I won't talk to you." Oh hun, please grow up. You are 18 years old now. How immature can you possibly be? You are so prude it isn't even funny. Best friends means friends forever.


x Jessica Mae x

(no subject)


I'm still in disbelief. I think that's why I let it happen, because I didn't believe that it was actually happening. And it sucks because we can't go back and I can't make you understand and I really don't know what to think right now. And it sucks even more because I have absolutely no conviction over this, and I should.

Oh, and by the way, it is a big fucking deal. So stop saying it's not. It's a big deal to me, and it should be a big deal to you because it's supposed to fucking mean something.


my last letter for you

Dear N

You still hold a part of me. Can I please have it back?

Im still swimming in our sea of memories. I try to put you out of my they say,"out of site, out of mind." You're gone. You left me and went back with your ex. You stop talking to me. I thought we can still be friends. You are a liar. I hate your guts. I hate what you did to me, what you put me through. I spent NIGHTS drowning in puddles of tears. I lost who I was. You treated me like shit. You never cared. When I got with you this summer, i know the situation i've put myself through. Yet i held on..n u know y? because I BELIEVED. This was a mistake on my part for not letting you go sooner. I lived a lie n i knew it all along. But even though u are gone..ur still here with me.

I still miss you. You still haunt my dreams. Do u still think of me? Do the memories of me still bring you smiles?

But its okay. You were my first kiss...the first person i allowed myself to fall so hard for. U thought i was playing games...but i wasnt..just confused. U didnt realized that and Im sorrie that you didnt. I hope you miss me now that you let me go. I hope ur happier now...this is the last letter Ill write for you...