today was one of the best days i've had in a long time. and i didn't think of you once.
well, that's a lie. i thought of you a lot. but i'm done with it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!!!
why can't i quit thinking about him, he's supposed to be one of my closest friends ever but i sense that theres something more?
or maybe thats just me making shit up to please myself.
maybe later this will make sense.
last night when you called it was weird. things between you and i are usually never akward, they're relaxed, and comfortable and i know i can be myself around you more than anyone, because i tell you fucking everything.
then why, last night when i was drunk, and you were high, did it feel different? i felt like we both weren't saying something that we needed to. and then i swear to god the most insane thought ever just popped into my head. we're going to date. and i was like wtf that is such an absurd thought. i'm not even really attracted to you. i just feel that by the time we're seniors something is going to have happened.
Dear my boy,
I hate that I totally adore you, but I never see you.
I know we live far apart from each other but I'm trying to make teh effort.
You've always got some stupid excuse.
You said the word that scares me to hell last night.
And it didnt scare me.
But sometimes I dont see how this is gonna work and it kills me.
Your the first thing in 6months thats made me smile til it hurts.
You make me laugh about everything and anything.
I love your hugs n kisses and how you make me feel all warm n safe when im with you.
I loved staying at yours cos I got to fall asleep n wake up next to you.
And I love you to pieces.
I hate it cos now im not gonna see you til Friday n that will be like 2wks since I seen you last.
I miss you sweetness. x
Dear stupid fucktit ex,
You are a dick. Your a liar. You never change.
Im 'the most important person and always come first'. Bullshit.
If that was the case why did we break up? Why were you LIVING with her when we were together?
Why did you make me feel soo guilty for breaking up with you.
Why did you make me feel like the one in the wrong for kissing another guy.
YOU WERE LIVING WITH ANOTHER GIRL. Dont try n say nothing happened cos we both know thats bull too.
Please stay out of my life for good.
Ive tried to be your friend but its never good enough, you always gotta push it.
Well you know what, im done for good. And have someone so much better than you now.
Im sick of your shite.
I beat myself up, mentally, every time I eat something. How much are 17-year-old girls supposed to weigh? I don't think I know what is normal anymore..
Please just leave me alone. I really do not love you.