November 5th, 2005

(no subject)

dear stephy,

i'm so sorry i used to hate you. i'm so sorry that it was over a boy. my best friend, yr boyfriend. it wasnt yr fault he said the things he said to me. i judged you without knowing you. && now i know what a fucking idiot i was for that. can you imagine, had i skipped over the hating you step, what kind of heartbreak we coulda saved each other from??

we were on the phone tonight for what, three hours?? bitching, talking, whining, laughing. i just want you to know that i am sincerly sorry about everything bad that i have ever done or said about you. i fucking love you. we friends foreva now, yo! fo sho!!!


dear jessica,

you dont fucking deserve what those boys are saying/doing to you. i mean, i thought we were all friends. apparently they arent as accepting as they think. it just makes me mad how quickly they are to judge you, how quickly they are to hate you. i hate them for that. part of me always will.

they are assholes. dont worry about them.

we still love you.


dear scott,

stop playing the pity game


dear bobby,

stop acting like yr so big && bad. no one gives a fuck && i'm getting sick of yr stupid fucking attitudes && the fact that you think you can fucking patronize me. go to hell.


dear randy,

you deserve better.


dear mmy,

i dont know what to do with you. you can be so two faced at times. i cant believe you would diss on jessica right infront of stephanie. && then say it was because of how she treated scott??


cuz you treated me && steph the same way.


i hope you grow up soon. for yr own good.


dear you,

this is starting to be a nightly occurance. me signing onto this so i can write letters to you or letters about you, which you'll never read. but i dont mind it. it helps me sort my thoughts out && not feel so crazy for maybe five mintues of my life.

but you made me cry tonight. because of yr reply to what i wrote in my profile. i had written

please repeat after me
i am an insensitve prat who doesnt deserve half the things she gets.

&& then i stuck my away message up to go talk to stephy on the phone. when i raced back up here at two thirty, you had already gotten off, but left me a message anyways. all it said was

I refuse to repeat.

after ten mintues of figuring out what you ment, i cried a little. because i've been so sad today, so overwhelmed, so hopeless today that the fact that you would take five seconds out of yr day to leave me that message. it made me happy.

yr fucking amazing
I rock.

(no subject)

dear kyle,

no matter what you do, i still see the good in you. god, why the hell do i like you so much? i mean, i hate the fact that you have a girlfriend now. you told me that you wanted to get to know me before we started dating. and now you're dating sam, who is NEW to our school. been here like...three days, and you're already going out. makes me feel second best. makes me feel like shit. but i still..idk, i still can't let you go.

please make this worth it.

<3 Shelli

dear heart,

stop making me miserable. i'd love to get over him. help out a bit?

<3 Shelli

[The End]

Just wanted to say thankyou for anyone who read and replied to my letter I posted a few days ago, things are all good now and I'm so happy, so yup, thankyou you for reading and letting me know i'm not alone.

it's our 11month anniversary on saturday and my birthday on sunday so i should have a good weekend coming up, with lee, and all my friends:). hehe

[ everyone will be washed away... I cannot believe the end is so near...]


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(no subject)

it's kind of fucked up how you smoked tonight. i doubt you only took one hit. you have a drug test soon for work and for the first time today i told you that i really really didn't want you to smoke tonight. why would you make me feel like shit for 'one hit'. i just don't get it. especially after you were saying that you were so in love with me and that you didn't want to smoke. it really doesn't seem worth it. i hope you don't ask if i'm upset with you. cause i can't lie to you. i've decided to avoid talking to you about smoking ever again. when i say i don't care, you smoke. when i say i don't want you to, you still smoke. i give up.

you really know how to make me feel doubtful.

-annie :\
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