October 29th, 2005

clear

it's not an obsession..

DEAREST GOD,
Will my Mom ever get better or walk again?
Love,
Indy

Joe,
i thought u said u loved me and needed me.. then why haven't u called or e-mailed in a week and a half or returned any of my messages? are u still meeting me next saturday and going to the howie day concert? i was looking forward to this, how could u leave my heart for DEAD? i wasnt gonna trust guys again, but i WANTED to trust YOU. oh well should have never believed in the damn dating websites anyways.
Well Love you More,
Indra

Will,
i wish i could tell u i love u for real and not just when im tipsy. but sometimes i guess its better because u will just think its the alcohol & u'll never know its the TRUTH...thanks for being the only guy to not disappoint me. so far so good. and u know i cant wait to see you again and thanks for giving me ur picture. and thanks for remembering me after the crash.
Love Your Friend,
Indra

DEAR COMMUNITY,
if a guy gives u his pic and cell number does it mean anything? or if a guy keeps the teddy bear u got him at the hospital and also shows his Mom the card u gave him and then tells u about it? sorry i know i sound pathetic being 22 years old and having no clue about guys. :/ but anyways, thanks for all of ur help.
love urs truly..

(no subject)

Dear you,
your birthday's tomorrow. I am absolutely determined that I will get to talk to you, even if I have to use up all my cell phone minutes to do so.
You told bee to tell me "Not to get my hopes up."
Fuck that shit.
It's your birthday. I will find a way.
By the way, your hoodie smells fantastic. It's huge on me. It comes down a few inches above my knees and the sleeves are so long that they cover all but the tops of my ring, middle, and index fingers. I love it. It makes me feel small and protected and safe, too, and I couldn't really even tell you why.
Would you think I was pathetic if I told you that I've pretty much been living in it?
Anyway, I adore you. I wonder if you're thinking about me, a lot.

I wonder if you miss me like I miss you.

I love you always,
xox,
Liz(zy)/Devi/Chewtoy/Whichever you prefer...

Note to the daugher

Ok a little background first. Daughter has 1st serious boyfreind. Thinks girlfriend is trying to ruin it. She writes note to girlfriend and I dont think she should. Her note consist of telling girlfriend that she is sick of her and the things she is doing. OK to my note. I wrote hoping to hit her emotions and she read it and it didnt even seem to faze her. Am I crazy or did I not write it from the heart as I thought I did.

Here is my note. With the names changed.

Mary,

OK, it is about 3:00 am and I cannot sleep, I really need to talk to you and I know that I wont have time in the morning so I am writing to you.

I don't think you should give Tabby that letter. Why, because you are jumping to conclusions in it and you shouldn't write a hurtful letter when you don't have facts. Yes I understand that you think Tabby is trying to sabotage your relationship with Dan, but you need to get to know him better, before you ruin a friendship. He is a great person, dont think different, but if you are his real first love, nothing will get in the way, like you think Tabby is. I think you
should worry more about Holly than Tabby.

Now on Holly, I told you I am aggravated with her because she is so negative. Do you even realize that she didnt even say thanks to me for driving her to and from the dance. I think maybe she is more after Dan than Tabby. She really seemed to get upset with me when I said, "Oh you like Dan laying on you". She really seems to play the self pity game. You don't need to get involved with the daily trying to make her feel good about herself. She will wear you down and nothing that you can do will make a difference. Concentrate on what you need right now, because whether you want to believe it or not, once you get older, worrying about other things will be all you do. The husband, kids, family and friends. You wont have time for yourself, so make the best of it now.

Dan is something that I only dreamed of as you first boyfriend. Like me and Theresa were talking about, I think I would be heart broken if things go sour between you two.I even get the chills when I think of what you two will be experiencing together. I just hope he is as perfect as he seems. I know the hurt you will feel if it doesnt work.

I just want you to enjoy every part of you life and the less conflict the better it will be. Enjoy the time you have with Dan, be nice to him and I am sure that he will return the kindness. These are memories that you will cherish your entire life. Yes I do believe that it is possible to meet your soulmate at a young age and it can last a lifetime, but if you create conflict it will make it that much harder.

Dont let Dan scare you either. He is the one you should want to help you through things and not the girlfriend (Holly). If you are feeling love for him be there for him and dont say things that may hurt him. I know that I havent been the best example for you with you dad. But you have to remember that we went through all the bullshit already and now we have to sustain our life that we built. You kids are the most important to both of us and what happens with us is how we have learned to deal with it. Dad works to support us and I try to keep things going at home, but we (meaning dad and me) are struggling because we dont have time together. When we are together there is so much that we need to take care of, we put ourselves last and lately seem to never get to us. You have the time to put into Dan and if that is what you want, do a good job with it, cause as I said before, these are memories that you will cherish forever.

OK, I am getting a little long here, but maybe you shoud try this. Let Dan read the letter that you wrote Tabby and then let him read this one. Let him help you with the decision. I am not ashamed of anything that I wrote and if he disagrees with me, he can tell me. And he can help you with your decision. Put trust in him and see what he feels. Listen to him and make up your mind from there.

I love you with all my heart and would die for you tomorrow. That is what being a mom is all about. And just think, if he is your soulmate and you do last a lifetime, your little girl could have curly hair. Hahahaha, that was a joke.

Love you for a lifetime,

Mom
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