October 20th, 2005

Thank You

Dear God, Thank you so much for staying with the doctors as they worked on my dad. He is so much better and they say he may even come home Friday. I know you have heard the prayers and answered them. I will talk to you again soon. I love you ! !
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(no subject)

dear sarah kris,

hey sup? im just chillin. your doing so good. it makes me smile when i talk to you:D your happy,in love again.and you are happy with your life.im happy for you,im happy to see you making things so much better for you.but im still stuck ...stuck with not being so happy ,hosently i have a long way to go before i can be happy.and i dont want to drag you down. go ahead. get on with your life. i know im just keeping you from living your life. im just this person whos keeping you back. no longer,no longer am in gona let me keep you from being happy. this isnt good bye.but know if you want to say good bye b/c im holding you back then i understand. you have done so much, you have showed me thats theres so much to live for. am so thankfull for that. i will never forget what you have done for me.but i feel like i helped you threw your rough time,but you moved passed it. you got over alot of things,and saw that its okay to live your life. i dont wanna die anymore,thanks to you. i wanna live my life and make it better for my self,thanks to you. just if you want to leave me ,go ahead, i dont wanna be holding you back. if you do,just let me know and i understand. but im always here for ya. ....leave me a comment if you read this,please:D

take care,


wonka candy vs liquor

Dirty little secret...


I've never written you before...But I'm writing now because you're throwing very confusing things at us. I know that you have a reason for every action, but right now I can't understand what that reason is. Mary, Colleen, Caiti, and I have all lost our dads...Three due to health reasons one due to 'suicide.' (I won't believe that. I'm sure you understand) Why? Will we ever know? I know things will be answered in the afterlife, but I just don't get it. And it just doesn't seem fair. It's Caiti's senior year, why take her dad now? Same for Mary and Colleen. I am moving on enough with my own dad that I no longer have to ask why, but it still just doesn't seem fair. I don't understand any of this. I just don't. But I guess I am not supposed to. Well, I'm just going to put my faith in you, and hope that I stay strong with it. Please help me, and Caiti's family, and Colleen's family, and even Mary's. Please. I just want to feel that you're doing something with them. And keep Zoe's dad safe, please. I don't want her to go through what I've been going through. Amen.

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    wishing you were somehow here again-poto

(no subject)


i hate getting that attitude... i know you're upset... and i know ur not in the mood to talk... that's why i excused you, i can hear it in your silence. i can sense it in your lack of words, of motivation, of excitement, of anything... your lack of everything... i know you don't wanna talk, even if i'm not the one you're angry at. but that's just it... i'm not the one you're angry at. so y give me that disgusting attitude of your's? why make me feel horrible with that low, cold tone of voice, even with a "good night"? and maybe u really are deaf if u cudn't hear the tears behind my voice when i sed "gnite love" just before i hung up. and if you could? you should've called me back like i expected you to...


why do i love you so much... =//////
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    guilty err... =/