October 17th, 2005

some things are better left unsaid

Dear Tom,
It's funny that you will never read this. It's more funny because I don't want you to ever read this. You were my first real love nad you said that I was your greatest love. Then why do you continue to ignore me? You were my best friend during our relationship and I was yours. We spent all of the time together and continued to love eachother even after we broke up. You told me you wanted us to be friends even though I told you we couldn't. Why is it that when I tried to be your friend, you'd push me away? You told me that's what you wanted...for us to be friends. You've made me hate you. I despise you. I hate myself for hating you but you're making it harder every day. That ticket was my birthday present. I spent $200 on your birthday and my birthday present, you take someone else to the concert? That pushed me over the edge. You know how mean I can be if I'm pushed to it. and you did that. I took down all of our pictures. Your bear is sitting in a box in my closet and the photo album is in there with it. Next time I'm home expect it on your front steps or in your truck or on fire in a pile infront of your house because you pissed me off that much. So much that I never want to speak to you again. So much that if I saw you again I'd probably punch you in the face. You told me you would always love me. You told me I was the greatest girl you've ever met. Well the truth is Iam. And I'm probably the best you'll ever get. You couldn't understand what a girl like me was doing with a guy like you. You were sweet. You were funny. You treated me with respect. You made a promise to me that you would never let a guy treat me like crap again. You promised me that you would never let doug back into my life for sex, that you would never let another guy drool over me and then treat me like crap, that you would never let another guy sweet talk me to get me in bed, and most importantly that you would never let another guy treat me like I was worthless. Step back and look at what you're doing. You're treating me like those guys from my past you hate. It's a lie that you're mr. nice guy. It's a lie that you want to treat people the way you want them to treat you becuase right now you're treating me like shit. You're treating me like I'm worthless. You're treating me like I don't deserve the respect anymore. I hope you're happy with the way things turned out. I hope you can sleep better at night knowing that you can flirt shamelessly with anything with a vagina now. I hope you're happy knowing that you'll never have to worry about me finding out about you asking girls for topless pictures. You had trouble trusting me? I couldn't believe you had trouble trusting me. After all, I'm the one who took YOU back after you broke my trust by asking another girl for topless pictures. I'm the one who was still in love after you were flirting with girls behind my back. I'm the one who couldn't sleep knowing that you were at home flirting with whores while I was at school waiting til I could see you again. I hope you're happy with the way you're treating me, that you're satisfied with yourself. Just don't ever talk to me again unless you want me to punch you in the face for being the asshole that you really are. Stop fooling people, Tom. You're not the sweet guy you make yourself out to be. Too bad it took me 10 months to realize that.

Love always Fuck you,
your brown-eyed girl
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my first letter

dear (you),

i think there are only two things holding us back:  your girlfriend and my boyfriend.

we're in love together. but not with each other.

ew. what am i typing!?

ps-dear keri,
this could get weird. lets never speak of these letters out loud. ever.
annieXcore!!! <3
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(no subject)

dear dan
i miss you.
the truth is i dont want to let go.
so as much as i keep telling myself
"no more letters"
i'm a lot more involved with you emotionally than i want to be.
and frankly i dont give a damn.