I'm pretty sure last time i wrote in here i decided i was never going to write in here again to you.
i guess i was wrong. i keep thinking that i'm over you and that i don't care. i really wish i didn't. i hate that you affected me so much that you effect the way i talk, the way i act, the way i think. i wish i could just wipe so many of the memories of you and i together out of my mind. i really really can't stand it.
when i saw you today, i seriously have never felt more horrid in my life.
i dont know if it was just that i wasnt prepared, and hadn't let myself down slow enough. but when i saw you pulling out of your driveway i freaked. my heart actually was in my throat and i felt like i was going to vomit.
you should NOT have that kind of effect on me. no one should have that kind of effect on me.
when that tarot lady said i picked the hanging on card it was weird. she told me i never let go of things, and it's true. it takes me a very long time to move on, but i just wihs i could i move on. and i dont know why i cant.
everytime i hang out, i just want you to be there, and for everything to be wonderful between us again, but that's never going to be the same.i miss you so much. and i think i realize we can never really ever just be friends. since we never really were just friends.
and i think, it's time to finally let go