October 15th, 2005


(no subject)

Dear Dan,

I'm pretty sure last time i wrote in here i decided i was never going to write in here again to you.
i guess i was wrong. i keep thinking that i'm over you and that i don't care. i really wish i didn't. i hate that you affected me so much that you effect the way i talk, the way i act, the way i think. i wish i could just wipe so many of the memories of you and i together out of my mind. i really really can't stand it.

when i saw you today, i seriously have never felt more horrid in my life.
i dont know if it was just that i wasnt prepared, and hadn't let myself down slow enough. but when i saw you pulling out of your driveway i freaked. my heart actually was in my throat and i felt like i was going to vomit.
you should NOT have that kind of effect on me. no one should have that kind of effect on me.

when that tarot lady said i picked the hanging on card it was weird. she told me i never let go of things, and it's true. it takes me a very long time to move on, but i just wihs i could i move on. and i dont know why i cant.

everytime i hang out, i just want you to be there, and for everything to be wonderful between us again, but that's never going to be the same.i miss you so much. and i think i realize we can never really ever just be friends. since we never really were just friends.

and i think, it's time to finally let go

(no subject)

Dearest Michael,

You're really hurting me. I act all cool, like I don't care, but I really do. Very much so.

Especially when you're talking to me, and then you suddenly tell me that your girlfriend has come online.

I wish you would be mine, even though we've never met. We bother know there's this attraction between the two of us, and I just wish you'd break up with her and be with me..... but then karma will bite my ass.

Your 'favourite eliiiiza'