October 14th, 2005

(no subject)

dear emmi,

hey sup? how you doing? im not so good. everyone seams to think im doing soo much better.just b/c i realzied i can live my life again.and that i can be happy again.and that i am happy with my life. that dosent mean im okay. im not okay and dont know if i truly will ever be. my past ,no one knows the real deal.and i dont want them to know.my past its my littel /huge secret. i rember being hit when i was really young.by joey,my birth father.he had drinking and drug problems. i rember sitting in my highchair..him yelling at my older brother shea,and then raising a hand at me. i try so hard to block it out,but i cant.its what happend,and i cant change that and never will beable too. i dont rember my child hood very much. i dont rember my friends,i do rember adults.so that was when i was very young. around the age of 3 my mom left joey. then mark came into my life. hes my dad.hes the one who raised me and has been there and saw me grow up. i rember when i frist meet him,he was at the bottom of a long hall way,i ran up and huged him. i rember him telling me in my ear"its okay connie,im here to protect you" and i will always rember that when i feel scared. so from about the age of 4 to...say 11 i guess. i dont rember many of my friends or there faces. i do rember adults,and the ones whom i would be around alot as a kid. then a few years went by.and got to 2 yrs ago. i was..no what.this hurts.to talk about this.its starting to hurt i can feel it inside of me. i cant talk about this anymore. sorry. i must stop for now.

love ya much


[Movies] JGL FYI

(no subject)

Hey babe,

Sure is lonely here. I'm sure the Enterprise isn't much better..alone in the middle of the Ocean. I thought this time it would be better....you've been on the ship plenty of times before. Thought that I wouldn't cry. That is until you bought me a ring before you left. I can't wait until you get back and we can have our wedding. Until then, me and the cats will wait for you, as always, with love.
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