Dear Guy on Craigslist,
PLEASE e-mail me right now and tell me you are going to sell me those 2 death cab for cutie tickets for $100. That would be really really sweet and I would love you quite a bit. So please, do that. Right now.
okay okay okay, i know we havent talked for quite a long time. until tonight. anyway, i just wanted to tell you, that i am SICK of you ignoring my calls. and i'm SICK of you never trying to get in touch with ME. everyone keeps telling me all this shit that i cant seem to believe because of the way you treat me,not what you say and do around other people. so i called you tonight to see if you knew why mandrell was in jail. the thing is we actually talked. and god it made me miss you. we used to spend quite a lot of time together and then it was like boom. zip. zero. like i didnt even fucking exist.
okay so then you im me and tell me you were drunk and had sex with this girl. well i didnt really care too much. seriously. but i just wanted to say thanks, because i know if i had heard it from anyone else i would have gotten so damn mad.
i thought you ought to know..
WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW IF YOU EVER CAUGHT ME SMOKING WEED YOU WOULD SAY FUCK HER GRADES, FUCK HER SCHOOLING FUCK HER ENTIRE FUTURE AND YOU'D SEND ME TO REHAB. JUST LIKE YOU DID MY BROTHER AND BEFORE YOU COULD YOU KNOW WHAT?!!! I'D FUCKING KILL MYSELF. BECAUSE THAT WOULD ACTUALLY RUIN MY FUTURE.
suck and i will get so drunk and so high i wont know my own name. :) thank you.