September 27th, 2005

park

(no subject)

dear tall blonde fella,
last night wasa great night.
i love how theres no pressure when were just laying in the dark.

but please, dont take al the stuff i said and asked and reveiled the wrong way.
i feel a lot closer to you now.
unconditionally, your favorite dreadhead.

x

Dear you,

I feel the casual emptiness.
I feel the changing climate.
I feel the chilling air.
I feel the maturing breezes.
I feel the discomfort of school.

But...

I don't feel you next to me.
I don't feel anticipation towards an ending day.
I don't feel donated warmth.
I don't feel motivation to finish days.
I don't feel full.

I can't wait to see you walk by after this mod, and completely avoid my eyes like we never met, or never spoke, or never even consciously lived in the same city together. You walk through me like I was fog.

Sincerely,
me.


"Your little brother is so cute."
That's the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone after writing this.
  • Current Music
    The pathetic sound of conversations...

(no subject)

Antonio,

I'm so happy with you. Happy and in love. Full of love for you. Which is why I'm asking you to break up with me...

I swear I'm not crazy. You held me today, and I almost slept in your arms, but I was too distracted by the beating of your heart, the scent of you, just being with you. At Pizza Hut, I ran my fingers through your hair. You held my hand. Before I left, you held me so tightly, like you don't wanna let go.

I'd be ok, but that note... now I don't have doubts, and it scares me. Maybe you love me? I don't wanna get hurt.

Today, my dad screamed at my mom about how he wanted to kick me out... he wouldn't talk to me. I sat upstairs crying. There will be no seeing you on Sunday night-Friday afternoon. I won't be able to hang out, for basically any reason ever.

It drives me crazy! 1) I don't know how I'll function without seeing you.. ever. But I will. I'm so upset. You don't need to deal with a girl who can't be there for you. There's so much more to it then just this.

I can't even write.

I have to call you.

I'm scared out of my fucking mind that this will be goodbye. I fucking love you.

-Rainbow
  • Current Music
    "Bruised," JM