September 17th, 2005

(no subject)

Boy, today was simply amazing. Probably the best day we have ever spent together. I liked just laying around my house for a few hours, alone. Making diner together, even if it was only Mac&Cheese. Just being able to kiss you and not be shy about it, well that was wonderful. I am glad we were able to get past our shyness, for the most part atleast. The movie was good, even though it melted after the first fourty-five minutes. I mean come on seriously, what the heck! The thing just fucking melted?! Oh well, we'll just have to go see it again. Thanks for holding me when I cried over the spider. Normally I wouldn't have cried, but the thing was RIGHT in my face. Thanks for walking me home too, even though we could have got a ride. I just wanted to spend some more time with you. I am glad we finally said I love you to eachother because I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. It is about time we got over this shyness we have, it's going to be three months next week. You are simply amazing boy, and I love you so much. Don't ever leave me... (Yay for not being losers anymore!) Love me.

Kayla. So I heard you told Arthur I hated him? I am giving you the benfit of the doubt and not flipping out. I would like to know if this is true. I don't hate him what so ever. I mean yes he annoys me sometimes, but I mean everyone annoys me sometimes. You know? Just so you know, the only thing I have called you was a bitch. If I have called you anything else, I didn't actually mean it. People say things when they are angry. You know how I am. I don't hate you, just some of the things you do/have done pissed me off. I do still care about you, weither you want to believe that or even care, I do. I don't just care about you, I care about your family too. I know you don't care, I just wanted you to know this, incase something happened to one of us and we never saw eachother again. So goodbye and I hope you have a wonderful life. I wish you and John the best of luck and I hope you too last forever. Whatever makes you happy, well that is what I wish for you. Love Jessica.

(no subject)

No I did not say anything like that to Arthur.
The conversation went as follows.
"What's with Jessica?"
"I dont know, we're not talking"
"Yeah, she was beng a bitch..." Yadda Yadda.
I said , "I don't know" The whole time, because I don't know.
I do not say anything bad about you, because I do not feel anything bad about you.

I too wish you the best of luck, because it's what you deserve.
And you should know how Arthur is because we have been in this situation before.

(no subject)

 I am very glad to hear that you didn't say anything like that. I figured you didn't. Yes, I know how he can be and that is why I wanted to ask you about it. I won't lie I was very angry at you before, but I took my anger to far and I do appoligize for that. I don't think anything bad about you. I never really have, just stupid fight feelings, if that made any sense. Not that I ever make sense. So I don't really know what else to say, although it made me laugh when you pointed out I wrote "clam" instead of "calm." I don't think I am ever going to be able to fix that one. Arthur enjoys lying I guess?
                                                                                      ♥ Jessica Mae.

(no subject)

dear s1
my granmother almost dies from breast cancer, three different times. my granfather had skin cancer all over his body, more times than i can count, and finally my mom had cancer and didnt tell me for six months... stop telling me how bad you have it, and that i dont know what your talking about. cause i do, more than you know - i just dont like to drag other people down with me.

dear s2
everything will work out in the end. i promise you, cause i dont like seeing you how i did tonight. i love you too much, and seeing you just break down killed me. i really just want you to be happy and to have things work out for you in the end.
....but when you told me that you kinda liked him, my heart shattered. i still like him, and. well. i dunno. its just i know things would never happen between us again, but i like to think that i have a slight chance. and i promised myself that if the chance ever came again, i wouldnt stand down for anyone... but its you, and i couldnt ever hurt you.

dear c
i know your family life is all messed up for you right now, but just remember that we all love you, and will always be here for you.

dear a
- i - d-o-n-t - l-i-k-e - y-o-u - a-n-y-m-o-r-e -

dear b
why must you attract everyone, why must i still like you, why were you flirting with me at the end of the night like i wanted you to, and why at the end of the night last night did you make a deal about hugging everyone, and not hug me...

dear n
i love yah, and it doesnt matter what he says, if you get t hat chance take it! cause believe me... you'll regret it fo the rest of your life if you dont! he'll forgive the two of you eventually - he's just being protective.

dear self
stop worrying about everyone else, there's enought going on in your life right now. should you tell them all whats happening to you... should you tell him whats happening to you... do you think he would even care...
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