September 3rd, 2005

konstantine5

drop a heart. break a name...

well, first of all. i feel really bad about writing this. i gues it cant be what friends do :(. but i guess if im writing this about you, it surely shows how much you mean to me. i mean, in the past, when i havent spoken to you about stuff, it's ended up coming out cos its annoyed me soo much + only the close people to me manage to bug me like that. yup, it sounds wierd. but why would u get botherd about someone you dont care about?

well, i guess it's just the fact that the one thing that bugs me is when you try soo hard to impress other people, you end up pissing off the ones you already had. for example, i didnt want to get in your way when your with your othr friend, but when you're around them, you just forget me, or shout over at me and say something as if you're taking the piss out of me. and tbh, i cant be assed+ i'm not going to crawl up to you and let you make me feel like im something less. soo we end up actualy talking, just us two + then when i come back, my boyfriends gone in cos he thinks he needs to go to hospital cos hes hurt his arm, + when i say i gotta go, you just didnt act bothered, you just went oh. okay. as if im skanking you, when you literally did to me. u just turned off and went. where was you then when i was worried?

occasionally you shout some comments like dole or whatever and then ignore me. tbh, i cant be botherd. i guess when we're at school things will change, cos you'' be with me more. im not trying to make out that your horrible to me , cos youre not. its just when you;'re around other people, is a different side to you than when you're just with me. you dont have to try and impress me tbh. you wouldnt have to with them, but  i know how u like to fit in. i mean, you even started smoking cos they all did. and im not lying, you even said how easy it is when you;re with them. but u must care about me abit, cos you said you'd stop for me, cos im the only person you're botherd about enough to want to stop.

and no, were not lesbos lolz. i guess it's also the fact that when im not out cos im with my boyfriend, you have to hang round with people out + stuff. and sometimes, i feel really bad, as if im choosing him over you, but you understand and i see you at school + when im out cos we're not a couple to stay in all the time like some of our mates are.  but anywayz, its just like when im out, you're being wierd with me, just so u can get some cheap laughs. ek, i dunno. i feel stupid for saying this all. i just dont want to lose you, but this has happened before, but with different people you've tried to be like/with. i gues when im at school, i just going to hang round with our other mates too, i dont wana lose you, but i dont want to just be used, likei kind of feel now :(

and im sorry, cos its probably mainyl my fault, somehow. cos i kno u wudnt want to hurt me.

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(no subject)

dear me,
get over yourself!
i feel so guilty. i mean shes one of my best friends. there she is - her whole family falling apart - and me, wishing it would happen to me too. not for the fact that people feel sorry for me, but just because i dont want to see my mother anymore. she cause me so much pain, and i hate her for it! but i cant talk to anyone about it, because her family is breaking apart... and all she wants is it to come back togeather.

dear heart && brain,

please start working togeather. make your decision because before i thought my heart being torn into two was bad.. but now its being torn into three, and killing me.
just pick! the guitarist or the singer. sure you blew your chance with the g- but youve been feeling for him before that happened, and after. and the s- he's new... and a clean slate. but please give one up soon - cause i think i may die from this pain.

love, moi
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(no subject)

dear "her"
you are so lucky to have him, and therefore i take an immediate biased dislike to you. but if me and him continue to be good friends and you cause no hassle with us hanging out then you won't be that hated.
love the bitter girl

dear creator of this community
thank you so much for such a helpful outlet
love
an avid user
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peter griffin

(no subject)

I'm new here. I have a few letters to write, I think.

dear e,

just because I was drunk when I called you last night doens't mean I didn't know what I was saying. it's impossible for me to lie while I am intoxicated. whether this is a curse or a gift I have yet to figure out. I told you today that I don't remember what I said, but that is a half lie. I remember a lot of what was said. it was a lot of me telling you how I feel every day but can't tell anyone. I said, "I miss you, god I miss you," and we all know it's true. if you think that was the drink talking, you're just stupid. and then you call me tonight -- you're driving around for no reason -- why? why did you call me? I'm not complaining, but I just can't figure you out. do you miss me? do you care about me? I can never fucking tell. when I need you, you don't seem to care. when you need me...do you ever need me? I never quite let myself believe that you cared for me, even during the good times. just...why don't you ever say anything? sure, words come out of your mouth...but I want to know how you feel. about everything, not just me. fuck, you could talk to me for hours about your favorite muppet and I would be happy. I just want to see inside you for once. I never ever got inside. that's what bothered me the most. let me tell you, I loved you. I've told you before but you never goddamn took me seriously -- I mean it -- I loved you. I would have done anything for you and I did. that's another thing. I told you everything, I said: "I will only share this with someone I love." and I shared it with you, and the whole time you knew I loved you and that you didn't love me. you never loved me. not like you said you did, anyway. just what the fuck were you thinking? there's no way you could have done that without hurting me in the end. why would you do that? why would you hurt me on purpose? I did everything for you! I would have begged and lied and stolen for you! what possible reason did you have? unless you're just a total fucking slut, a selfish depraved fuck. I want you to tell me. was I that unbearable? was I terrible? fine! I wish you would have told me before you went and did that shit! I could have dealt with that! but no. god no. it was like you planned to break my heart. I miss you so much, I just wish you'd come back to me. and I hate that.


dear k,

I really just want you to shut the fuck up. I want you to quit your goddamn whining because honestly it's really hard for me sometimes to listen to you fuck up your relationship and then complain about it. look -- you are luckier than you know and it takes someone like me to see that. you need to stop being such a stupid mean bitch. you have someone who loves you and you continually fuck it up. why? why are you so stupid? I wish I had what you do, and here I have to watch you throw it away. sometimes you genuinely disgust me. I really hate to say this, but more often than not I hope he breaks up with you so you can see how stupid you are and stop taking him for granted. taking your loved ones for granted is the biggest sin you can commit.


dear a,

I like you so far. I want to see you and find out how you smell and how you walk and what your hugs are like. god, I just...I want you to be someone.