August 26th, 2005

  • nugglet

(no subject)

after almost five years,
i can't believe you're leaving on account of my ambition
and your lack thereof.
it hurts to think about it;
you making love to someone else
you brushing some other girl's hair out of her face
you laughing for someone else
you wanting something more than you wanted me
but it seems fitting, your decision
since all of the photos i ever took of you
are of you walking away.

i will love you until the day i die
pinkie swear

(no subject)

Dear work,

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. You make me want to quit, you make me want to give up, and walk away, like I always do.

Why must you be so frustrating and fast-paced?
Why must all of the customers be so ignorant?
Why do I NEVER have off when I want it the most?

Sincerely, Me


Dear Jay,

Thank you for making work just a little bit more barable. If I didn't have you to talk to about concerts, and bands, and how weird ryan is, I think I'd really go insane. Also, your chicken wraps are amazing. And I plan to learn how to make one soon so you don't have to do it every night. Thank you for making work less stressful for me.

<3 Nicole



You had to have the LT Sizzle Tonight. You just had to. Didn't you? Even though you knew I have work tonight, and off tomorrow, you just had to have it tonight. DAMMIT. Not that you care. You already said you didn't want me at the wall. So why the fuck would you want me at your house. You can say it's because you don't feel like "protecting me" or "watching out for me" or whatever bullshit you'd like.
But it still feels like you don't want me there. Which hurts. And you know why I'm thinking that? Not because I'm paranoid, or whatever. BECAUSE YOU! Yeah, you, put the thought in my head.

Congradulations, once again.
Want to know the sad part?
1. I still don't hate you.'
2. You calling me yesterday, was the highlight of my week.

With Love- N.G.


Dear Junior Year,

Please be amazing.

Thanks, Nicole


dear you,

why did you have to go and screw things up like that? i know you were drunk, but c'mon. you couldn't have been that drunk. i know you weren't. i know you well enough to know that. everything was fine. and now, i'm almost afraid to be alone with you.

what the fuck.

with love?


dear ben,

i don't know what to do about you.
you keep asking me back out.
you keep telling me you think you love me.

you say you don't want to rush me..
and that no matter what, you just want me to be happy.
but every time i talk to you, you ask me like twice, if i've come to a descision yet.

I LIED, about having a boyfriend before.
I'VE LIED, several times, about having plans so I wouldn't be able to hang out with you.

i lied when i said i loved you.

but when you kissed me at warped tour...i felt something that i don't think i've ever felt before. it wasn't love...but it felt damn good. and i'm thisclose to just saying yes to you, because what other choice do i have anyway.

i can be with you...or i can be alone.
but i don't want to be with you for that reason alone..because even though what you did to me was fucked up, being with you only because i don't want to be alone, is wrong.

but..being with you also means lowering my standards.
and getting ALOT of shit from my friends.
because they all hate you.

you fucked me and chucked me. you're lucky I don't hate you.
but they do.
kate was ready to smack me just because i told her we hooked up at warped tour.
i don't know what she'd do if i told her we were back together.

i. don't. know. what. to. do.



You are far too good for me. Don't waste your time trying to make me smile. You'll regret it in the end.

We'll hang out a few times..maybe hook up once or twice, and then you'll realize, that i wasn't lying all of those times that i told you that i was nothing special.

i'm not.

i wish i could be.

but i'm not.

With love, Nikki

(no subject)

Dear Uncle Terry,

Stop being such a twat. Yael loves you, and either you love her or you dont. Stop mucking her around. She rings us up crying all the time now, and now you told her you still love her, and you kissed her and hugged her a lot and now youve just confused her again. So stop fucking around with her. Face it, your not going to find someone like Annabelle again. Yael is your last chance of being happy. So dont mess it up.


Your Niece.x

Dear Jon,
I didnt think I could miss one person this much! Come home!
I love you!

(no subject)


If you still want to be mad at me about what
happened earlier, then that's fine because I
most likely deserve it.

Alright, what happened earlier was really stupid.
I can't believe I blew up like that. It was childish
and immature. But it really did agrivate me. My
phone was cutting off, Mitchell was yelling "WATCH VIVA
LA BAM!", and my TV was up all the way. I couldn't hear
a word you said and the fact that you wouldn't tell me
what it was you were talking about made me mad.

What also made me mad was the other day when
I was talking about this one band and you
were all like "If I cared then I'd ask."
And your always putting me down because I'm not
a video game freak. People have different intrests.
When you tell me that you have no reason to talk to
me because I don't play video games, it hurts. Even
if your joking.
You can deny it all you want and say that you didn't say
that but you did. It hurts me. I always act like harsh
words don't hurt me but they really do. I'm not just trying
I know for a fact that I do too. I know that I call names and
pick at everyone. Am I proud of it? No. I'm not.
It just seems like all we do is hurt each other. And what I say
may not hurt you but sometimes, the things you do and say hurt me.
Call me "pathetic" if you want, but PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS. You
can't just ignore everything you feel. That's not right. In order
to live a healthy lifestyle you have to be able to get your feelings
out and if you don't you become insane, sick, and sometimes it can
even kill you.

Now I'm not trying to make this sound like a "FEEL SORRY FOR MADDIE"
thing because it's not even like that. I have just been under so much stress
lately, that every little thing has been bothering me.
School's just started up and to pile up more stress,
my Great Uncle died and I've been letting it bother me because
it's hard to let go of someone who's died. He was the
only memory of my grandpa(who I don't remember) that I had and now, I don't
even have that memory. I'm irritable and every thing gets on my nerves.
It's kind of a tough time right now. I know after awhile things will be better.
If you still want to be mad at me, then like I said, fine with me.
I most likely deserve it. But if we're REAL friends then you would learn
to forgive and forget.

  • Current Mood
    pissed off pissed off
Crazy Random Happenstance

(no subject)

Dear Boy,

I can’t stop thinking about you.
You’re everywhere.
You’re in all my classes…even though you aren’t.
You’re always at my house…even though you have no clue where I live.
I think about yesterday when you rode up on your bike after guard practice…and said you didn’t know guard had practice even though I know you did.
I think about today at lunch how you randomly came up to my table and started talking. “Awkward silence? I’m leaving.”
Why do you keep popping up in random places like this?
You’re driving me crazy.
I want to kiss you.
And then I want to take your eyeballs out with a spork.

  • Current Music

(no subject)

Dear Brian,

I don't know how you make me feel the way I do. We hardly know each other but I feel like we've known each other forever. Everytime I lay eyes on you my heart flutters and there are a MILLION, ZILLION butterflies in my stomach.

Meet me in outerspace I will hold you close, if your afraid of heights I need you to see this place, it might be the only way That I can show you how, it feels to be inside of you How do you it, make me feel like I do How do you do it, it’s better than I ever knew How do you do it, make me feel like I do Do oh oh oh oh oh You are stellar You are stellar

Just let me know about you!


(no subject)

Dear Mother,

I love you more than anything in the world.

But i can't believe you'd do that to me, it scares me that i still love you so much and need you so much after you could do that to me.

He saved me, and now you won't let me see him.

Your Daughter, Supposedly.