August 18th, 2005

(no subject)

Dad and Laurie,
Please do me a favor and stay the fuck out of my life. You don't even understand how much I dislike you both right now. I seriously don't think I have ever been this mad in my life. It's so bad I was thinking about saying I want to live with my mom. Yeah the mom who I haven't talked to in over three years, the one that is a fucking crack head. I think I like her more than I like you at the moment. Your ruining my life. I shouldn't have gone to the doctors when you wanted me to. They never would have found out about this disease and I would be happy. It isn't like it is going to kill me guys. Please, my immune system is low. That is all and isn't that why I am on like seven different medications? You tell me I can't get a job at the Day Care, well fuck you. I babysit and I work with children in school, so please explain to me what the problem is? Laurie you always complain and tell me your not going to pay my way through college if I go for Early Childhood, well how many times do I need to tell you. I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR IT. I want to work with animals NOT CHILDREN. Get the through your fucking head. You think you can controll what I do still, but you can't. I am seventeen years old and I am sick of pleasing you. I'm done being your little girl. Do you realize what you are doing to me? You guys are tearing me apart. I have NEVER felt or even thought about if dying would be better. But lately I just wonder if it is. No I won't go through with anything like that, I just can't help to HATE my life right now. Myself I love. Actually your the only things I really fucking hate at the moment. Just leave me alone, because I am going to do whatever I want, despite what you want.
xJessicax Who I might add is crying her eyes out now because of you.


God,
Why are you making my life so difficult right now? Please stop and make me happy. I don't deserve this. What did I ever do to you?
xYour daughter, Jessica Mae. x

Tears, please stop falling. I don't like you.
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(no subject)

Dear Heart,

Get over him. its been three months. he's moved on, three times. you can do the same.
sometimes i think you are the worst part of me.

From,
the rest of me.
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