August 11th, 2005

infinite

(no subject)

dear tall blonde fella,
im excited to see you
even though i hate you right now
and even though your drunk.
but alot of things are going to be said tonight.
and i hope things work out the way we both want them too.
i lovehatelovehate you
unconditionally, your favorite dreadhead
  • Current Music
    power -- yellowcard

(no subject)

Dear You,


I should really start getting used to this "boyfriend" word.
It's crazy, but I love it.
I love spending time with you.
But now that summer's ending, I don't want this to fade away.
I already miss seeing you practically every day.
And the ring of my phone just 10 minutes after you leave my house.
The smile on my face, because I know it's you.
Those butterflies in my tummy whenever we kiss.
I can't help it, but I sneak peeks at you whenever we do.
The way we dance to Jack Johnson in the dark.
And sitting in my backyard, just embracing every moment.
How you try to feel my heartbeat when we're together.
And every time you laugh and say it must be you, because my heart is racing.
It never gets old when you hold my hand.
Or when you brush the hair away from my face.
I'll never forget cuddling in the chairs, going to the fair, the water park, and the underwater kiss that you wanted so badly. :)
And that week straight we spent together.
It still makes me laugh, thinking about those neon blue &lime green dodgeball outfits and the look on your face when you hit that girl right in the face.
All those days at the beach, times we didn't even talk- just sang bsb songs on the phone, and the first time you called my your girlfriend.
And who could ever forget when I made you watch Welcome to the Dollhouse?
The way you looked at my like I was insane because I was laughing so hard and you said the movie was "sick" and not in the good way.
"At 3:00, you're gonna get raped." "I swear my hands really were dirty!" "I'm sorry for being a cunt." and "Get off me! I make the first move!"
And the looks we get from other people- especially those we know, because who would've thought the little asian would've gone for the 6'3" blonde surfer bum.
And chaperoning my little sister's movie "dates" with me.
Even though she would end up checking up on us every ten minutes.
Or that time that girl went up to Lily, asking her about you, "Who's that boy in that poncho thinggg?"
And the way Lily just looked at her and said, "We don't have any taquitos here."
It still makes me smile.
I'll always have my bear Big Sexxxy, the yellow corsage, and bags of Swedish Fish.
And the way you kiss my forehead.
How could I ever let myself forget.


Yours,
Me.
infinite

(no subject)

dear tall blonde fella,
i gave up and gave in
because love conquers all.
please dont break my heart again anytime soon.
unconditionally, your favorite dreadhead.


dear best friend,
please dont dispise me for getting back with the tall blonde fella.
i know hes an asshole and hes fucked up.
and i know hell probably fuck up again.
but isnt that the point in love?
to find the person who fits u best and to love and forgive them?
even when they do wrong?
your the most important person in my life and i would do anything for you.
your the best friend ive ever had and i want you to know
that i love and appreciate everything you do for me and would do for me.
and i know you dont like to see me with him because u dont like to see me hurt.
but i think it would hurt more to not be with him.
and i love him, despite it all.
and i dont want this to ruin what we have between us. he will never come before you.ever.
hes made to many mistakes and youve too much good.
he doesnt deserve me but i dont deserve u.
but please forgive me for what i do to hurt you.
i dont do it to hurt you.
i do it cause i love him.
maybe thats wrong too.
but nothing will ever change the fact that i love you.
love forever, your best friend.


dear everyone here
im completely in love with a guy who every person i know thinks is completely wrong for me and is a total jerk.
and i have to admit when we fight he can be a jerk, but so can i.
i can forgive him for his mistakes and he can forgive me for mine.
but everyone... all the people who i know and love in my life, dont want to see me with him any longer.
what do i dooooo?
a very confused sad person.
  • Current Mood
    confused confused
i'm not...

aw shit! happy moment!

Benjo,
okay so...maybe you're telling me the truth. i fucking love you with everything i have and i really just want to be with you right now...if you werent in a different state things would be so much easier. ugh, how is it possible that your not like all those other assholes?

Beautiful
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    aaliyah-miss you