August 9th, 2005


(no subject)

Dear Dan.

that makes me think of savage love<3
i really need to say this, it's been bothering me since saturday.
i wish i wasn't drunk when all of this happened. because i want to remember so bad. i have had the biggest crush on you for so long<3 ever since i met you think. even when i was talking to matt but i denied it. because i got over matt, but with me and you still being friends, you're always reminding me of why i like you, and what pisses me off, and why i hate you. the sad thing is, i know everyone has their faults so its okay that you piss me off. and it's okay that you make me want to hate you sometimes. because i know you're always kidding. except that one time, but i understand because it was your sister. i actually missed you so much in that one month span, and it made me so sad :( seriously, not having you there to talk to is the worst feeling ever. and i know you care <3 like that one time in colorado i told you about my dad's weird friend and you said youd beat him up even if he was like 60. THAT is what makes me love you. and i hate how YOU always bring up the flirty stuff. and then i just go with it. you make me get my hopes up more than its neccesary, because if you just left me alone, and talked like a normal human being i would be okay. i could get over this infatuation.

WAIT. is that what this is? an infatuation?! because i really like you. and there are times when i feel closer to you then anyone. like how you got off cs for me like once. when i was on vacation, and told me to call you and i did and you didnt answer. and on your birthday when we sat on the beach and watched the sunset. that was so fun and it felt real? you're the only guy i've ever slept in the same bed with. that was such a cute night<3 and like at this party saturday. i would have down that sober, but then i wonder would you? i think yuou really care about the 5 years different. which is barely 5 years. its like 4.5 because your damn birthday. i guess it would be weirder for you i'll give you that. but i want this so bad. like i actually want a relationship. i think maybe the best solution to this would be for you to come to your senses. because i know you realize i like you. unless you are a moron, which is all together reasonable. okay i also know you care becuase you held back my hair when i barfed, and actually held me from falling over. and let me watch sex and the city<3 and called brad pitt hot.

so heres the deal.
and that is not just in a sexual way.
lets get married<3
and i think its really really cute how you are balding.<3 its CUTE. it was also cute when i was drunk as fuucckk and playing with your chest hair. now THAT was cute too :)
if anyone is reading this, do you know what i mean? how guys have receading hair lines at young ages? hehe.