July 10th, 2005


(no subject)

Dear Life,

I know you aren't the best, I do what I can though. It's just that you scare the shit out of me, so I run and hide. I don't know why though, it's not like I make you better by doing that. I don't understand why you have to be so hard, so scary, so...hectic.

When I was little, if I knew that you'd be this tough I wouldn't have always wished that I was older. Now, I want to turn back time and be young and innocent again. It's funny how you jusy fly by me without me barely even having a grip.

Sometimes, I don't understand the point of you.

xtina - death


Dear everyone.

I Love CHRISTINA AGUILERA. I would do ANYTHING to spend 1 day with her. I'm jsut so annoyed that she isn't having a tour in Perth (Aus.) anytime soon. Why can't she come to Perth for a show. I'd pay double the price of a front row ticket, just to be right up close to the stage and see her. Last time she was in Australia she didn't come to Perth. I can't even remember when was the last time she came. *sigh*

I jsut wanna see her live. I just wanna tell her I love her and her music.


from..a fan
  • Current Music
    Christina Aguilera - Dreamy Eyes

Ex's suck.

To a certain someone,

You fucker.


How DARE you try to do this to me again! I hate you! I do not care where you work, what you do, what your class schedule is, what your opinion of me is, or anything else that might come out of your ugly mouth.

Normally I would not do this, but you have pushed me to it.
You don't know the pain that you have caused me.
It was just emotional, but now it's physical.
You have actually achieved your goal, be proud of yourself. It takes a big man to beat up a girl's self-esteem like that (sarcastic tone).

Whatever, In my last letter to you, I told you that I was through with your crap. You are nothing but a low-down, lying, ugly snake. I won't tolerate your shit anymore. You have problems. So what?!? Everyone has them. The thing is, not everyone reacts like you do. My boyfriend has been through more shit than you ever even thought about, and yet he is 40000 times as good a person as you are. HE LOVES ME.
Sorry if you can't handle the fact that me and him really do love each other, but it's the truth so you just have to deal with it I guess.

So seriously this time,
Go throw yourself off of a cliff. Noone loves you, noone gives a rat's ass about you. So you might as well end it all now.
  • Current Music
    Last Resort
smile cofuses people

(no subject)

Dear Tristan,

You honestly don't know how much you mean to me and baby, I can't even explain it. I love you more than you can imagine!

I know I screwed up so much in the past 3 or so months we've been dating on and off. I screwed up by getting with Keith and I realized that when I sat every night, miseable.

That phone call today, it meant so much to me. Hearing your voice once again, after so long hit me so hard. Hearing you tell me you loved me still, after all I put you though, it made me realize that THIS is whats going to last me forever.

I never got over you and although I was with Keith, I thought about you non-stop. I felt like Keith was just a replacement for you. I mean, you guys are exactly the same, expect, you mean SO much more to me.

Baby, I know you're going to give me another chance, and I want you to know how thankful I am for it. I promise I won't hurt you again. I promise, no matter what, we'll be together.

I don't care how far away we are ...

I don't care if it takes us years before we meet ...

I can feel that this is right.

I can feel we'll be together for a very long time.

I love you.
Don't ever forget that.


(no subject)

dear world,
what have I done with myself. I have lost so many friendships over the course of like three years and here I am going away about to lose so many more. I havewn't talked to any one but Nathen this whole summer in person. And I've hardly talked to any one online. I miss people and lately I have a had a lot of dreams with people from my past in them. Cailtyn made a post in which she didn't even mention my name or Brandi's. I"ve read an entry of a former friends and it made me want to vomit...more specifically the comments. Why I find this upsetting I'm left to wonder about whi9ch makes me think again that it's a good thing to get away.

dear dad.
Why is it that megan always gets money on a random bases and I don't. Why not make her quit smoking so that she has some money. Instead I have to waste the gas money I worked for to drive twenty dollars over to her. And then I have to feed myself for two or three days and buy that food. I've also bought everything this summer. I've benn driving for two years now and have never gotten any gasd money from you. I've never even gotten any money when I go out with friends. Even when I was like 12 and going to the earliest movie.

And the potential that you are might get married to a women who is nice but I believe may have some down falls scares me. I feel so on my own even when I'm in your house and I know I want that at times but I also was promised a room to come home to and now you talk about putting my bed in the closet and making the room your office when you move. I mean no wonder I've been thinking about staying at UA after this year. Why would I keep coming back to a house that's not mine and a room that has nothing of mine in it. Plus two dogs and a cat in the house I'm allergic to. Why would I want this.

dear mom.
I know you've been under finacial stress lately and I understood and therfore haven't asked for money. But my birthday's in like two weeks and you haven't asked me what I want nor have you offered to pay for anything other then like 30 dollars for two bras I needed. I've tried to me nice to you again and I don't know what to do. I can't come back to your house. I know you say you welcome me but I feel as if you really don't welcome me all that much. You've necver asked me over for dinner or offered to take me out to lunch. I almost called you up to see if you wanted to go with me out to look for a back pack. But since dad bought the computer I figured you wouldn't want anything to do with it. After all that's how you acted when I mentioned my car. How am I supposed to miss you if I can't miss youy now. I want you around don't you get it I just don't want jud around. I've never liked him and think you deserve better then him.

Dear self.
stop worrying. quit living in the past. move on. Have fun. start you book. finish your application.