I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

I had joined this community on my old lj, and I never really posted anything.

tonight I went to 2 bonfires. after a boring couple of hours, I suggested popping into my ex boyfriend's house. (note: I haven't seen nor spoken to him for over a year). so my friend calls him up and asks to come over. of course, he had no idea that I was tagging along.

so here is the whole experience. I must say, I'm mighty proud of this. I'd love any feedback regarding the emotions, ideas, images projected in this and if they were projected ok. it's rather long, though. so I'll put it in a cut.

( even soCollapse )

you know what anthony?!?! fuck you.
im sick of it. all of it.
i hate that you have like 5 guy friends. get more. i dont care if im being jelous. you know ive been going fucking physco in my house with my family and shit. you cant just hang out with me one night? no.
you have to hang out with kristen again. fuck it all. you hung out with her last night when you blew me off.
were going out. itd be rad if i saw you.
now you cant go to the grad party with me saturday? fuck this. i hope i have work monday just so i have an excuse not to see you. i hate this so much. i cant put up with it.
"oh dont hurt your self. dont take pills"
fuck it. i bet you wouldve even care if i did anything again. fucking doubt it. fhewiahfiuahkjaehg
i cant put tup with it. i still really like you. but i dont know how mcuh more i can take. i just cant handle it.

your fucking unloved girlfriend.
-Jessie.