I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

My eyes search the blazing room, where are you?
When all i know is that I need you to see me, where
are you?
My heart fluttering at a simple glance from him, water
splashed from him, but all it yearns for is your
eyes, smiling at me.
Your arms are reaching for the youth that she holds
not-so-innocence in her arms, but she's cold
I really messed up.
I know that I have hurt you, and that you felt led on
cant you see how terrified I was? cant you see how much
I just want to know you?
But I cant have even a smile or a sideways glare, cant
move like a flirt to the lover's beat, when you will not
RECIEVE IT
So, a wounded bird I lay on the ground as you pick yourself
up and walk by, Im where you were just a little while ago
screaming in anguish as you push and you pull, tug at my heart
Just one more time
I follow you around like Ive got nowhere to go.

There is no place to rest, without you.

I know you know what is best. Really I do. I know there is some master plan that confuses us all, but works out perfectly in the end. I shouldn't question you, but I can't help but wonder why this happened.

Teenagers get pregnant every day. Some of them can't even drive yet. They won't give the babies good loving homes or the support that they need to grow up well.
So why take one from someone who would?
She has a good husband, a nice house, she's one of the most loving people I know. She could really raise this baby right and give it everything it needs. She's tried so hard for so long to have another baby, she's gotten pregnant three times since the last one.
Every time she's miscarried. And every time it has nearly killed her emotionally.

She wanted this baby more than anything.
I just don't understand why you would take it from her.

But like I said, I really shouldn't question you. It's not my place.
I'm sorry I can't just accept it.
I'm sorry I don't understand why you would take a baby from my sister, who loves you and her husband and her daughter and has wanted another baby for years, when you allow babies to be born every minute that noone loves.

It's broken her heart... and mine.

-me

dear brad

if only you knew how much i wanted you in my arms all the time...

love
allie

dear cody

i do love you, ur my bf i have to, its just, well, i dont love you...

love
allie

dear evan

I HATE YOU SOOO MUCH JUST SO AWAY KILL UR SELF OR ANYTHING AS LONG AS UR OUT OF MY LIFE

love
allie