June 13th, 2005


Dear feelings,

please stop with this hurting nonsense. The rest of me can't handle this anymore.

-the rest of me.

Dear Ashley,

I miss you. Im sorry im not a good friend.

-your bff.

Dear Dave.

come back. please don't ever leave me alone at night again. It drives me crazy and I cant sleep. I wonder what you're out there doing.

I love you


Dear you.

thanks for listening.


Dear me,

run away or die. Dont you have any courage and/or motivation?

-much hate, me

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

I wish you knew what I'm going through. I wish I could talk to you without feeling like I'm getting judged. However, I can't. You say that you wish you had your "Sweet little girl" back. I'm sorry. She is not coming back. I like the way that I am now. You tell me what I'm doing wrong, and then accuse me of being unhappy. I'm sorry.... your criticism is what makes me unhappy. Why do you think I've been making straight A's for the past 9 years? It's not for my health. I did it so you and dad would be proud of me. I know you are proud of me for that, but it's just that I feel like that's all you see when you look at me: your little straight A maker... do you see a person? Do you see that I have feelings? I'm different than my sisters. I cannot be like them, nor do I want to. I'm happy the way I am now. I like my music, my friends, my school, my church, nothing needs to change. Stop assuming that just because I'm not the same as you that I need "help". I don't. I can handle things on my own. I'm independent. Even you admit that. I do not need a counselor. It helped last time, but that was different. There was a totally different set of reasons/circumstances. I'm over that now. I really wish you could be happy with who I am. I'm proud of myself so far. I'm making good grades, I go to church, I don't do drugs or drink... Why can't you be happy with that?
And another thing... don't ever compare Patrick to Willie again. They are as different as day and night. Patrick won't hurt me. He loves me. Willie hurt me bad... Patrick is doing everything he can to fix the damage that Willie has caused. I love him for that. Just because I'm 14 you assume that I don't know how I feel. I DO. Even babies know what love is. They don't know what it's called or how complicated it can get, but they know what it is. I know that I love Patrick... and I know that he loves me. So stop assuming that just because we are teenagers we don't know anything. Becuase we do.
I wish I could really tell you all of this, but, seeing as I can't, I'll have to settle for writing it in here and hoping that someone out there can read this and tell me what to do.

Your daughter.

If anyone is going through something similar, or has some advice, I would really appreciate your help! :] Tkx!
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(no subject)

Dear Cupid,
I don't know if you're on vacation and just forgot to mention it to me but I really would like it if you chose a different target for me. He doesn't notice me and that's not right for love. Maybe strike the boy to my left, make him fall in love with me. Just a little suggestion.

(no subject)

Dear Lord,

Please let me keep my head high tomorrow. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through this funeral. He was an amazing man and you've got a good guy with you up there. I don't think its possible to respect anyone more than I respect him. He is a true hero. Thank You, Lord. Thank You.