May 15th, 2005


to the boy who almost patched up my still bleeding heart

dear you,
i don't care about punctuation and i don't care if this makes sense or not because i'm not going back to correct it this is it now blunt and bold
i'm sorry for every little thing that i've done and if i've ever made you feel like this i hate that we're over
we were suppose to be forever. you told me we were lovers of the soul, that we were soulmates. and then you ended it
not even a week later you tell me that the feelings are still there. you raised a hope in me i never thought i'd have again
but we never got back together. why did you tell me it then? you want someone that lives there, someone your own age, right? i don't know, why don't you tell me
i'm naive and innocent and stupid and barely experienced but i have the heart of an angel and the touch of a saint. you said my beauty is captivating, that i'm your one and only but now you're off looking for another girl.
i want you to be happy and if finding another is what it takes then so be it but at the same time i want it to be only me only us and i want to hold you and have you hold me and be locked in that embrace forever
is this totally one-sided? am i the only one feeling this crap?
i wish that you could take all my pain away. still.
being friends is nothing when i get distressed if we're not together, talking, laughing, whatever. if i constantly worry and wonder.
i'm sorry. i'll shut up. this might be making you uncomfortable.
just take it and throw it in the pit of the fire. erase it all from your memory.
i love you still
your believable girl.
mis sigs!

(no subject)

To whoever it may concern,

I watched Garden State again and just wished something romantic would happen to me... and I wish it was coming my way.

I just wish I had someone sometimes... Some people more than others...

This is silly so I think I'll just drop off the face of the planet for the time being and maybe just wait for whoever you are.

dantaa. x

  • Current Music
    Bring Me The Horizon 'Re: They Have No Reflections'

3 letters in one

Dear Future Army man...

I hope before you leave to go to the army..i get to say all the things that were left unsaid when we broke up..all the feelings bottled up inside of me that i need and want to let go but don't know if i can..or how too..i want to tell you that..ive fallen in love with you when we were together and that I will always be in love with you. I want to tell you that your g/f now doesn't and never will love you the way i do. Quite frankly..she doesn't even want to be with you..shes just with you to get free things..I hope before you leave you call me..if fate was working in my favor..i would get a sign ..that sign being a phone call telling me how you feel..if you will miss me as much as i will miss you..
I know i shouldn't feel this way because of how we broke up..and i hate that i do..i hate the fact that I can't go a day without thinking about you..i hate the fact that it kills me to know you aren't thinking about me at all..i even hate that fact that i can't stand seeing you with her doing things we used to do..when i was at your party friday it hurt me so much to hear you tell her you love her back..I wish i could have gotten over am I suppose to know if you have gotten over me? it seems like you have since you are with your ex gf..and I am with no one..i have tried dating other people but my heart belongs to you and i wish to god it didn't...i hope you call my before you leave...and i hope you make it back home to me was really nice and refreshing to see you again..the best part was when your gf left lol...i could tell there was something on your mind all night..i wish i knew what it was..but i don't seems lately we havent been on talking terms and i wish we would talk more..i wish i could call you but i don't think you'd want to talk to me..i love you very much and I will miss you..even if you havent left yet..i guess this will give me sometime to see what i want to do..what to say..when to say it.. i guess it better be soon..cause i have no idea when you will leave me..

i hope you make it back home safely..i hope you make it back home to me..

yours truely,

the one that can't forget you..

Dear Immature

How the hell did I betray you? Joeseph told me that you told him that i betrayed I guess thats why you're acting Stand-offish and immature like and not coming to me telling me how you feel and how i betrayed you..i don't understand how i betrayed you when it was you the whole time..but meh whatever

see ya,
confused and pissed

Dear Flirt..

you sicken me and you are the biggest man whore i've ever seen..why did i ever like you?

yours truely..
  • Current Music
    Queen-- Killer Queen

(no subject)

Dear Alex,

I miss you. I don't think about anyone except you. I'm trying to give you your space. You said you didn't throw out all chances of us working things out. You said we needed a considerable about of time before we'd be anything more than friends. You said you understood why it hurts too much to be your fried right now. You said you don't know how much time. I need to quit living by the things you said.
I'm giving it the summer. I'll try not to talk to you. Maybe once school starts again we could try to be friends. We could try to date. We could fall in love again. We could be that model high school couple we once were.
I know you haven't forgotten our picnic, our taxi ride, our crazy photos, homecoming dinner at Waffle King, adventures to the lake, movies and parties and ong night in each others' arms. I'm a part of you and you're a part of me.
I don't care if you date a million girls this summer. I know they won't mean anything like I did do. I know they'll never be your baby, your Betty Bear, your loser, your Goober. I don't want anybody else. I don't care about anyone except my Xander Bear, my sweetie, my weirdo, my Goofball.
Tonight I'll sleep in your t-shirt, like I always do, and I hold Pants, Marvin, and Frank, and spend another dreaming of how happy we'll be when the summer is over.


(no subject)

Tyler -

Now rather than later. She's coming to me to cry. Don't lead her on - if she's thinking forever, and you're not, don't lead her to believe what isn't true. God, please be gentle, I don't want to hear her cry. I hope your conscience doesn't kill you. You're a good guy, and I want your salad.

falling apart

(no subject)

to "the bunch"-
i love you and miss you terribly. forget everything and take me back open heartedly? please?

to whom ever it may concern-
please please please let me go back in time and fix all of my mistakes? please??? im down on my knees begging you! this sucks completely. i swear it fucking rots. i cant take any of this any more!!!! i cant stand any of it!! so please let me go back and fix everything ive done wrong to be treated the way people treat me? or atleast move me to a desserted island so i can die in peace? or maybe you could just make me vanish? like completly? thats a good idea. make me dissolve tonight in the middle of the night. so then i wont have to go to school another day!!! becasue i cant stand that either. im ready to just run away from it all. to jsut leave because i know next year will be ten times worse. so whom ever it concerns please take me from my miserable life? everyone would just be so much happier. im not being selfish so dont even try bringign that up becuase you'd be doing us all favor.
i swear.

dear mother-
im not your little baby anymore. thank god for that. if i want to go out for a walk i will go out for a walk. i dont care what fucking time it is. dont make me do what i dont want to do anymore.