March 27th, 2005

(no subject)

Dear brother,

I can't believe what you did tonight. That hurt me so much. You don't even know. You know how much I have stuck up for you through everything. I have always believed in you and never lost faith. Now you tell everyone what you did. It doesn't even matter that it was a lie, just how could you even say something like that. You don't even know me. God you have no clue. The persona I have when I am with you is totally different then when I'm with everyone else. You think I'm a perfect angel who never does anything wrong and that bugs the shit out of me. I am not. and you need to know that. I hate how you always make me feel like a loser, but then if you find out something bad I've done you get mad and tell on me. That is not being a brother...fucking nark. You know...I love you so much and I worry about you all the time. Why can't you just ever make me feel good about myself. You always put me down. And when you do it's not intentionally usually, but you have no idea that what your saying hurts. I have nothing else to say to you as of now..because you just made me cry to much.
-your sister.

dear cousin.
God you have been my bestfriend since I was born..I know you better then probably anyone. But now I can't even hang out with you anymore because all you want to do is drugs..and fine I'm okay if you do them. Got nothing against it...but honestly can't you just have fun without them for a day or two. I can't stand how you always say you're bored when you're with me. And you know the only reason i haven't just given up on you is because you are my connection to danny. It's like I'm sick and I can't just let go of this kid for good. Because as long as I have you, I have some connection to him. I hate how you try to put on this huge act when you hang out wiht my brother. And how now you only wanna go get drunk with my brother. Whatever god I can't even talk about you anymore.
this is all such bullshit.

~random thorts of the scattered mind~

I wanna reach out and touch…

You hand…

Your body…

Your heart…

Your soul…


…and with one kiss

We’ll begin….


…he was part of my dream, of course,

But then again I was part of his dream too…


…you b-r-o-k-e my heart, now you better help fix it,

Cuz even with all these b-r-o-k-e-n pieces I still love you…


…I want a B.O.Y.

sum1 who’ll love me for me,

Ill b his everything,

And he’ll b even more to me…


…the stars will cry the blackest tears tonight…


…a ship in the harbour is safe…

but that’s not what ships are for…


…a heart unloving is safe… 

but that’s not what hearts are for…


why should I cry?!¿!?

What will a few drops of salty water change?¿?


…and the tears



shed from those scars…


…we may b liars…

But we’re the best!


…the ones that love us least,

Are the ones we’d die to please…


…there’s always just this one _x_BOY_x_ and no matter what h does you just can’t





…¿?WHY?¿ do you have to like her?

Im just as good!

I could be yours…


…how can so little

mean so much

to so many????




(no subject)

Dear Boy,
do you not do wut you want becuz you dont want me to know thats wut you want to do? or is it really that you dont want to do them? i need the truth! and i need it now!
<3 me

Dear peoples,
<3 me too
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(no subject)

Dear family
can't you just understand that my mother has chosen the path she wants to take and you're just making things horrid for her. She has enough stress at work without you, her close family, giving her grief about making her decisions. It's not a decision that's been made lightly, it's not a choice that has been made easily. 7 years, this has been discussed, and thought about. And yet now, when it's turning into reality you can't support her in her choice, all you can do is write her letters about how she's making the wrong decision, and about how she's upsetting her kids. How on earth do you know what I feel? How on earth do you know whether I care or not. You suggest that I'm just saying it's ok to be nice. You're wrong. Sure, I'll miss her, but it's her decision, it's what she wants, and why should I stand in her way? If anything, I feel guilty about making her wait this long. And anyway, she is my mother! We do argue. I wouldn't not say what I thought about something as important as this, believe me. I said what I thought, to her. I haven't said anything to you, so don't try putting words into my mouth.

Oh, and one more thing. My wanting to go to Australia is nothing to do with her wanting to do this. So, like I said, stop putting words into my mouth.