March 26th, 2005

(no subject)

Dear Josh,

Your cute, funny, and the cornyest guy i have ever met.
Why do you think im so awesome?
Why do you think you " could help with me with im going through right now"
Why did you ask me to date you right after i got out of work?
Why were you surprised when I said yes? So surprised you couldnt even look at was really cute by the way
Dont hurt me please... I really like you already
Dont worry about what will happen in 6 months, lets just be together right now and see where it goes.
Becuase i want to be happy, and you want to be happy, and thats all that matters.

<3 Your new girlfriend,

(no subject)

Dearest You All.
I Cannot Say This To Your Faces. But To My Friends And Boyfriend You Need To Know All This.

To Nicola. You Are Fake..And Stupid. I Want To Beat You Up A Great Deal Of The Time And If You Patronize Me You Know I'm Laughing AT You.
To Lizzie. Your Lovely Now. You Were A Boring Sod Though.
To Karl. You Need To Wake Up Dude Seriously. I Love You Dearly And You Do Light Up My Day Sometimes But Your Gonna Fall On Your Face One Day.
To Maily. Your A Good Friend And A Laugh..I Cant Say Anything Bad About You Really. But You Are Quite A Spood.
To Jenny. I Love You The Second Best. You Do Care So Much And I Couldnt Ask More From You.
To Skippy. I ♥ You So Much. You And Jen Mean The Most To Me. You Care So I Care For You Both. You Know I'd Die For You And You Keep Me Centred And I Wouldnt Ever Want More.
To Tom. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I Love You To Death Sweetheart. You've Made Me So Happy. I Hope You Get Better Soon So I Can See You And Give You Chocolate. Your Kisses And Smile And Hugs And Cuddles And Love Have Brightened My life.

  • Current Music
    The Birthday Massacre - The Dream.
by me

There's a million reasons why I cry....


I can't take this anymore. Why won't you talk to me? When I first saw you, all I could think of was you. I was hoping one day you would feel the same way about me but that looks like it just isn't going to happen.  Everytime I see you this feeling comes over me that I couldn't ever describe to anyone. No one makes me feel the way you make me feel.  I know you don't know me but I've been trying EVERYTHING to get your attention but it's like everyone pays attention to me except you. I wanted to write you a note and stick it in your locker but I was afraid that it wouldn't be good enough. I was afraid that I wouldn't be good enough. You seem like perfection in my eyes.  Your face is so beautiful but sad and lonely at the same time. You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen. I love how they are a beautiful pale blue and when I look at them, they look lonely and sad like your face. You seem perfect to me and I'm so scared of you thinking I'm not good enough.

I just want to say something to you again. Even if you don't know me I know for sure that we have alot in common. For example, we both like Slipknot, HIM, System Of A Down, Nirvana, ect. We also act and dress alot alike. I don't know why you don't notice me...If you only knew how much it hurts. Remember that one day when I complemented your shirt? It seemed like for the first time you finally knew I'm alive. I remember that when I said I liked yout shirt, you smiled at me. I melted inside. You have such a pretty smile. I just wish I could confess all of this to you......I'm just too afraid of rejection. <3Maddie

  • Current Mood
    blah blah

(no subject)

Dear Throat,
thank you for getting better so quickly. if i spend one more day in this house because of strep i might have ripped you out.

Dear Johnny, Viggo, John, Hugh and Jude,
thank you for your abundence of movies which helped me get better quickly for my spring break :) viggo, thank you for reminding me how beautiful you are <3

dear love.
why do i think something is going to happen between me and you? because i'm just fooling myself and setting myself up for the fall.

(no subject)

Dear Zach...

I miss you, but you won't talk to me. Understandably, I'm sure, but can't you just put the damn thing behind you? Ah, fuck. Maybe I still love you - "One's true character i seen in adversity," says an old Japanese proverb. Bleh. I have no one to feel better than, now.

It's crazy! I used to feel like I was good at everything, and now it's nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Call it abusive, but I want to be your friend again so I can be better tan you. I'm always better than you.

But I love the way you would get angry at me, and I love the way you loved me because of it... and the way we would never fight, just argue with a huge grin on our faces. And I love the way your eyes change color. Why do you think I remarked on it so much? To annoy you?

But there's another thing. I love annoying you. I love making you mad.

Well, I did.

It's been two years since we spoke but I miss you so much sometimes...

Okay, I admit. I don't love you romantically. I never did. Okay? I have the love of my life, and it's not you... but that doesn't mean i don't love you anyway. Does that make sense? I want it to make sense... Blarg. I have a song for you. I want you to hear it. I want this song to go straight into your heart and maybe you'll understand...

...and maybe you won't but here it is anyway.Collapse )

See? it fits SO WELL. Your name... what the hell is "Zack" Ew much? That's what I thought. You are Zach. Ha. And the whole "recognise this place"... you moved, dummy. I don't even know where, so i can't show up at your house... but I know where your mom's shop is... maybe I'll drop by when I get my license.

I have my permit now. There's so much for us to talk about. You're in wrestling. Do you remember that summer when I would pull you into the pool? You're so gullible, Zach. And so very good-looking. And so sweet.

I wouldn't dare wrestle you now, you'd have me on the floor in seconds. I used to win at that too.

You see, we're two sides of the same coin, neither of us is willing to concede a victory, so we'd just do better and better. I don't practice any more. There's no one to be better than than myself, and that was never good enough. I need you.

But I guess you don't need me...

You know, I'd be fine, but I never got to say goodbye. Let's talk, and then we can say goodbye. And I'll miss you, but that's okay, because there's restitution. Conclusion. My bloody writer's mind won't let you go.

You have a girlfriend....... don't ask me how I know. Actually, go right ahead. At least it's somewhere to start.

And I'm not a whore. Matt and I are still together. He's the only one I've ever been with. It's been 2 1/2 years now... maybe we can talk.

Maybe I'll wait until next year... when i get my license in September... sophomore year's the worst. I'll wait 'til you're a junior.'re on my list, you know. List of people I have to kiss the night before my wedding. God, but you're beautiful. At least, you were beautiful the last time I saw you.

Forgive me for sounded arrogant, but who doesn't need me... wow that sounds so self centered. But I'm a person, and I'm special. I'm not anyone else, perhaps even more so than the thousands of people who go through life living and partly living.

Bleh. Miss you. Miss everything.

Your ring broke. The heart-shaped mood ring you bought for me... remember? We got into the car and as we were pulling onto the road, we were looking at the color and t was dark blue. And we read the little slip of paper and it said "passion" or something like that. And I looked into your eyes and I was scared....

I was scared of being something because neither of us were mature enough to be anything. I want an Alternate Universe.

But yes, that ring. It broke. I'd worn it every day since that one, then Matt asked me out and I said yes and... it broke within the week. A sign, I know.

He got me a ring once but I lost it.

I've never been able to wear a ring for such a long time again.

Damnit, but you were beautiful.

Doesn't this all sounds like I still have a thing for you? Ha! Maybe I do! But I doubt it. Believe me, if I started talking about Matt.

Okay. No hard feelings, and no talking about him.

But the point is, I just want a chance to say goodbye. Please, Zach... let me say goodbye.

- AnneMarie

Oh and thanks to Savage Garden for the song ~.^ you make it real.

P.S. - Adam wanted to ask me out too... o_O what is with all these people liking me and not telling me! Dear God. I was yours, Zach, but you never took the chance. I would have said yes. Oh, I would have SO said yes.

P.P.S. - did I do something? I mean, besides the whole going-out-with-Matt thing. I thought it wouldn't last, you know? And you didn't actually ask me out. We weren't together. I wish you had....... Or maybe not. As I said, I want an AU.
  • Current Music
    Savage Garden ~.^

So Much Pain in Growing Up

Dear Pain,

Please go away and stop hurting so may people. Love is a much better feeling and we would all like to feel that more. If we love, pain is always involved. It is kinda strange that people that we don't know and only pass on the street with a smile never feel pain caused by us, but the ones we love feel it too much. Why does pain and love walk hand in hand. No matter how hard you try, you always hurt the ones you love.

  • Current Music
    Metallica - Ride the Lightning

(no subject)

dear chris,

i feel lyke writing you a letter,
but i dont think you'd ever see it.

i feel lyke playing you a song,
but i dont think you'd really hear it.

i feel lyke drawing you a picture,
but i dont think you'd care to see it.

i feel lyke playing with your hair,
but i dont think you'd really want it.

i feel lyke looking in your eyes,
but i dont think you'd really share it.

i feel lyke taking your hands in mine,
but i dont think you'd really feel it.

i feel lyke kissing you goodnite,
but i dont think you'd return it.

i feel lyke telling you how i feel,
but i dont think I'D ever say it...

love you



(no subject)

dear robert:
I cant stand the way you're always going on dates and whatnots with all these female "friends" of yours. i hate how you said you wouldnt pay for me at hard rock, but took vickie with you as a date and paid for front of me. you told me you wouldnt go to the fair with me, but you went twice with other people. i hate feeling like you dont want me around. i wish i could hate YOU. but, i cant, and you know it. i feel like you're taking advantage of the fact that i cant forget you, i cant tell you to fuck off, i cant bitch at you, i cant yell at you. i love you, but i feel so used. i dont like feeling like this. you keep hurting me, and all i do is love you, more and more each day. i know i should just let go, but i cant. you mean too much to me.
Grrr...argh... by sensibility_

Do you even know I'm there?

Dear you,
I had a great time tonight, though the whole time Jon's arm was around me I wished it was yours...Did you notice me glancing at you out of the side of my eye? I kept watching you...I wanted you to take your hands off your lap and grab mine, but you didn't. I wonder if you have any idea how I feel about you?
Did you notice the look of dismay that flickered across my face when you said she had asked you out and you were going to talk to her tomorrow about it, you probably didn't. I wanted so badly for you to say that you had turned her down...and then I wanted you to turn to me and ask me out.
I'm such an idiot...I should let on that I like you. I almost asked you out tonight...after you told us that she had...I wanted to offer some competition...but she's a cool girl and I don't want to lose her friendship...and I don't want to lose your's either.

Why do I have to be the nice one....why can't I just let my heart take control and go for what I want sometimes....but I'm too full of doubts...I don't even know if you like me like that at all.

I loved sitting next to you're laugh is so....g' just is. It makes me happy...

I think I love,

If I ever find out that you hurt Jenny in any way, I will hunt you down and make you so sorry for what you did to her...and then I'll make you sorry for what you did to Alaina and me asshole.

  • Current Mood
    curious curious