I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope

i’m stuck.
i can’t breathe, i can’t move, i’m frozen.
your voice pierces through the air, an arrow straight to my heart, nothing lets me out of the way.
it’s almost as if i want it. i want you to strike me, hurt me, break me – it will be less pain than you’ve caused already.
your words, though spoken so many times before, mean more now than you intended...or was it your plan?
i hear you loud and clear.
you missed out; your fear takes over your life so you can’t see. i tried to penetrate it, i reached in for your hand, all the time knowing where this would lead me...so you see, you have no reason to blame yourself.
i tried my power, i sought out something i couldn’t have, and it failed as it has every time before. my power is weak.
i never meant to cause pain; i never wanted to hurt you. my actions lie deeper inside than with you – my constant lonely heart works in ways i don’t yet completely understand.

i need to get away from your nothingness. But yet i crawl toward you...

why do you run back to the shore? ...i will continue to wait in the deep waters.

Dear Mom,
why are you so mean to my lately, what did i ever do to you to deserve this hell? NOTHING!!!! ok well good-bye. hope your nicer to me later becuz your hurting me by all the yelling and screaming
<3 kimmie

Aurea,
i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you more than i hate skool, i hate skool a lot more than anything besides you of course becuz you are a little back stabber that needs to learn how to SHUT UP for once! go eat burbt toast and choke on it bitch!
<3 kimmie

Dear Marc,
happy birthday baby, only wish you could be spending it with me. Hope you liked your gift too.
<3 kimmie

dear self,
why are you so down latley?
its spring break, its supposed to be warm and sunny
but no stupid buffalo is cold and snowy
which suckss major
other then that
i have just been so down lately
hating the school im at
wondering if things could of been differnt
hating the person i am becoming
getting annoyed easily with things
i usual am not
please
just snap out of it
i dont want to become depressed
<3 me

dear school,
i hate it there
the only thing i like
is the lax team
but everything else sucks
you have no money for us
no uniforms
no nothing
maybe you'll magically burn down one day
so i can leave and go to another school
<3, me

dear friends,
i love you guys really
your always there for me
but it dosent seem i can tell you guys anything anymore
i've got so much to tell
but no one i can trust
so now i feel all alone....
<3, me