March 18th, 2005

(no subject)

dear dev-
i think i'm falling in love with you.  i know that it's completely rediculous and i also know there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. i miss you- always. it seems like i never get to talk to you, or at least, never enough. i'm holding way more of a grudge against jackie than anyone did, i know, but i can't help it. what she did to you still disgusts me, she gives love, and girls, a bad name. i wish i could make her feel even an ounce of the pain you went through, dev. she doesn't deserve to breathe the same AIR as you, do you know that? she doesn't deserve to stand on the same ground. you are an amazing person, i'm reminded of it every day. i have no idea how to even express my confusion about everything that's going on in my life, but you and breezy...you two are my rocks. you've stopped me from making sure that i wouldn't see another sunrise so many times...i love you. and i miss you, all the time. i know that i'm never going to tell you this, and i know you're never going to find out.  no matter how many times i've thought..maybe....maybe he'll understand this time...i know you're not going to, and i don't expect you to. so here's to the sunrise i saw after the nights i spent sleepless after i realized that you never would. i don't expect you to, you have a whole life, amazing friends, you're a great guy. and i know that you're going to find some amazing girl there. and i also know it's going to break my heart, but i'm going to tell you to go with her, because that's all i want from you- i want to know that you're happy. you've got my heart in the palm of your hand and you don't even know it. please be careful, it's rather fragile, but i don't want it back. i couldn't take it even if i did.
i love you always
xox devi
dying

(no subject)

Dear World,

Why have you disillusioned me? Has it really gotten that bad in 10 years, or was I just too young to realize everything that was going on. What happened to you? What happened to magic? What happened to the lights and colors of Disney world? What happened to skipping around the street, thanking god for giving me life and making it so wonderful? What happened to god? What happened to innocence? What happened to endless summer days in my backyard playing on the swingset smelling cut grass and running around until my knees gave out? What happened to autumn mornings where the sun would be just risen while I was getting on the bus, so that everything was shining the the most beautiful morning glow. What happened to playing in the mud on spring afternoons, coming in so that my mom would yell at me for being covered in caked up earth. What happened to watching the snow sparkle like glittered up chrsitmas ornaments when the light hit the just right?

Why doesn't the sun shine in winter anymore?

Why have you taken the magic out of everything?

Why can't I ever drag my ass out of bed to appreciate the sunrise anymore?
Why do I always say "tomorrow"?

Why have you shown me how cruel you really are?

Love, (please show me love),
Nikki

(no subject)

Kelay,

You're amazing to me. You treat me so well and I love every moment I'm with you. How many guys pull out a chair for their girlfriends? I adore you and I'm sorry I can't tell the world yet. But I can tell you. I adore you. So much. Thank you.

<3, Sue^2
  • Current Music
    "Tomorrow"

(no subject)

Dear Guy,

I never really got to talk to you, but hi. That's all I wanted to say to you was hi but I guess now you're leaving for Brazil and I'll never get the chance. I never really get quite far in anything. So as I'm writing this gay ass note, there's another thing I want to tell you...I like you.

Well, good luck in Brazil.
I know you hate it there.
I know a lot about you.

Sincerely,
Me.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

(no subject)

Dear World, God, whoever it may concern,

Whatever bad things I did in my past life, I apologize. I'm a good girl now, so I would appreciate it if you would stop fucking me around.

Yours faithfully,
Lauren.
  • Current Music
    tracy chapman - fast car

(no subject)

dear boy
i dont get it. why is it i can go a day mighty fine without you? you could be in the room and i wont care. but other days i wonder how i got through the day without seeing you. it hurts. it shouldn't. i hate this. but i cant hate you. i cant. i want to. so badly. but i cant. why? why did you do it... i'll never understand you. you're so beautiful youre disgusting. i hate crying over you. you dont deserve it. i can never be with you again... but deep down, i want to be, so bad. why couldnt we start over? why couldnt you try? why did you give up so easily? ....it's....its okay if you hate me... just...-sigh- dont be a jackass to me.
the girl



p.s. stop making me cry.
  • Current Music
    iris _goo goo dolls
my smile

(no subject)

Christian~

When you smile at me, I melt. When you look me in the eyes, I want to touch for face. When you're just you, you make me want to put you away somewhere and keep you forever. Because you have this way of making me feel like it's just you and me and no one else is important.

But now that I have no reason to speak to you, now that you have no reason to ever even look at me, all of everything from every other day will disappear. And all I'll be left with is silly dreams. Because I thought I would know you more than a week.

</3