March 17th, 2005

(no subject)

dear chris,

im sick of writing pointless letters to you. (i realize they reach a grand total of about 4 four but i have a short attention span) im sick of writing things i would love to say to you or writing bout things i would love to change
but i cant cuz the bottom line is im too scare too
i feel helpless here
i feel lyke i dont have any control (cuz i dont)
i want you but i cant do anything to try and get you, i cant even tell you
my onli hope is that by sum mirical ud want me cuz your the onli one of us that can do anything here
i know sitting here wishing things were different is pointless
but its about as pointless as doin wot i want and making a fool of myself?
isnt it???
or shuld i fuck everything and take a risk?
im so confused
i dont know wot is worth the risk it would take to get it.
and even then i still mite fail

love you always
I <3 NY!

(no subject)

Dear Boy,

You make me smile. For once in my life a person makes me feel beautiful and worth it. You're the first decent guy I've met in a lonnnng time. Sometimes things just feel too good to be true. I would love to be your gf, just because you seem like you know know how to treat a girl, and I've been hurt SO many times in the past.. you seem like you would just pick me up when I fall. I'm really glad I met you. For once in my life I am happy.

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