March 16th, 2005

r

Walking over stones with bleeding feet.

Dear .....

I love you, you know that but i think that you dont understand me as well as you think you do. Im scared now because of that everything has been so perfect almost revolting its so good. When I bought up selling the block to you it seemed like you'd already thought about it and made up your mind. Why didnt you talk to me, its my block too and its my future too. I told you I didnt want to work full time for 30 years just to pay it off, i wanted to travel have children and you just smiled and said ok. You allready knew who to call to sell it and you had all th information. i've asked you if you had been thinking of it and you said yes.

Why didnt you talk to me about it too. You dont tell me what your thinking or feeling unless i ask you to. Thats really frustrating, even more so when i ask and you get angry...

Why is it when were laying in bed and you turn the lights back on to have sex, you'll never explain to me why... yet when your laying in my arms afterwards in the darkness again, you whisper your deepest disires in my ears. Why in theroy were children so magical and fantastic but when i was ill and 3 weeks late you didnt want to know. Why was it after the alarm bells were silenced that you again whipsered in my ears how wonderful it would be to start a family.

I love you more than anything and i cant imagine being with anybody else. However if you dont start talking to me i dont know if i can stay.... am i strong enough to rip my heart out and hand it to you along with my dreams while i walk away. Please dont make me try...

Tonight your working late, so i wont get to see you again till friday afternoon. Its amazing how we see so little of one another yet live in the same house. How we bairly talk but when were together we are on fire. I hope this never ends.

Love Me
  • Current Mood
    discontent discontent

(no subject)

Dear Yarran,

I hope something big, scary and smelly eats you. I hope it has large fangs and one eye. That way I'd have no say in anything and I wouldn't have to hurt this way because the big scary creature was totally out of my power.

Love,
Me.
  • Current Music
    maria mena - sorry
Poem

da guy of mi dreams . . .

                                              Dear Marc Byran Harnos.

 

I want a boy.(you)

A nice and bad boy.

A boy who has shaggy hair and lets me play with it.

He'll tell me we're like Corey and Topanga.

He'll give me his favorite sweatshirt.

He'll call me at 3am and ask me what i'm doing.

He'll tell me he couldn't fall asleep because he was thinking about me, and he needed to hear my voice.

He'll text me every morning before school saying "Have a great day babe I love you!".

And he always whispers something sweet in my ear.
He'll take me to a concert to see his favorite band.

And he wont get embarrassed to tell me he loves me in front of his friends.

When I cry he'll tell me I'm too beautiful to and he'll kiss every tear.

He'll always make me feel better because he knows the most perfect things to say to me.

All of his friends will know we're in love because he'll talk about me to them.

He'll stay up with me all night when im sick.

When we're walking together he'll stop and pick up a flower and put it behind my ear.

He'll love everything about me and tell me that I'm perfect.

We always end up laughing about silly fights.

We wont get mad for making fun of each other because we crack up at every bit of it.

Even if we're a million years old, butterflies will still go crazy inside of me ... Everytime he kisses me.

He'll tell me he'd die without me.

He'll surprise me by bringing me over my favorite food when I'm having a bad day.

He would think I was beautiful if I dressed so crappy it was classy.

When we go out for ice cream, he'll put some on my nose
then I'll put some all over his face.

And we just never stop laughing.

he wouldnt be scared to cry in front of me--
 --and would hold me when i cry ..

he'll introduce me to his friends as the coolest girl he’s ever met.

He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy balls from vending machines.

We would have contests of how far we could spit our gum, or how far we could jump off a swing.

He'll take walks with me in the snow, and we'll catch

TsnowflakesT on our tongues

He doesn't even like snow, but I love it.

He would grab my waist and kiss my neck.

And we'd always take pictures in photo booths.

We would play tag and not care whos watching.  
We'd kiss in the rain.

And when I hear him speak, I'll fall in love  all over again.

I want a boy who can argue over stupid things with me,

and than go totally soft
when I got sad and apologize.

 

I want someone who would lay with me outside under the stars.

Someone who will squirt me with water guns in the house

When we kissed our hips would be pressed together.

I want someone to be there no matter what ... always and forever *

Perfect.

I'll be his everything.

And he'll be even more to me .
He will love me for always

 

 

Marc, can you plez just be that guy, you WERE him why not now?   what did i eva do to deserve this?

luv you always ~n~ forever,

<3 kimmie.

you broke mi heart now you better help fix it . . . becuz still with all these broken peices i luv you.

made this up a while ago not very good:

guys brake your heart

slowly tearing it apart

you cry in pain

watch as he plays his games

you smile

that plan only works a while

my tears slowly fade in the end

becuz i no at least your my friend.

  • Current Music
    My Chemical Romance-Helena

(no subject)

dear chris,

why am i unable 2 just fall softly for sum1, specially u.
y do i have 2 fall so damn fucking hard????
i rilly rilly like u
and yet just a month or two ago i hated you so very very much
i want to so much but i feel trapped
i cant tell u
i cant flirt
i cant even give u a measly lil fucking hug!
cuz im too scare how u mite react, actually i dont so much mind how u react
its just ur friends and wot they mite say or do
cuz they have the power 2 make the next 4 years or my highskool lyfe lving hell
im too scare to do anything cuz im fucking scared shitless of the possible repercussions
is this all worth it???

love your admirer unmissed
lolly

(no subject)

i've got it down to two polar opposites
you either:
1.think im too hot for you
2.think im too hideous for you

3.are too shy to start a conversation in person
4.don't want to start a conversation in person

5.are scared of what matt thinks cause he hates me
6.dislike me on your own terms

7.are too nice to tell me to go away
8.are so arrogant you find it fun to torment me

9.care about me but don't want to say anything
10.don't give two shits what happens to me

11.are just what i want and i am what you want
12.are nothing like what i want and i am nothing like what you want

i really need to ask you if any of this is true, but im caught off guard everytime you're by yourself (ok im a coward and don't want to ask). please let this friday change something between us cause i don't know how much longer i can do whatever we're doing now.
  • Current Music
    clarity album -jimmy eat world