March 6th, 2005

l o v e

(no subject)

Dear Matt,

I've wanted to talk to you for a long time now, but I don't know the words to say anymore. You moving away has ruined my world, you were my first boyfriend I said I love you too and meant it. If only I had the courage to talk to you again. I hate that you moved. I dont even think you miss me, but I've gone crazy without you. You said you loved me, that you would keep in contact with me, that i was the angel your friends never believed in. ha, what a joke. you moved on, and im sitting here writing this stupid letter to you telling you that I dont think I am ever going to move on from you. Maybe you do miss me, but then why didn't you come back to visit me? That made me really sad. I know you dont want to live in the past, but I would think you would come anyways, I miss you so much, you just dont understand. I wish I could rewind everything and make it so you could of never moved. Maybe we would still be together....Things could of been perfect. Now I am whispering I love you each night to the picture of me and you, pathetic I know. But it's so hard for me to let go, I just cant. wont you come back and ease my pain?

the girl who cant get you out of her head </3
Gun Sex

(no subject)

Dear Kat,

You're loosing it again. So hang on tight here we go, it's another round. Just bite your lip, remember that no matter what you can never ever cry, try to hod out for as long as you can without cutting becuase they might notice, don't eat, obsess over being perfect and pretty, keep yourself busy, take your pills, don't get depressed get angry, and know that somehow you'll make it through.
Next weekend is going to rock. Lauren's coming over, you're going to get a prom dress, and thing's will be fun. So look forwar to that. Anyway yeah. Keep you chin up, so you can hold your head above water.


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    depressed depressed

(no subject)

Dear You,

I wrote to you back on December 3rd. I said I was getting on with my life. I lied. I miss you so much still. Thursdays are my favorite days of the week because I get to have lunch with you. We get to sit and talk. And I get to cry and have you hold my hand. Oh god. How right that still feels...your hand on mine. It's a perfect fit baby. I know you still think of me. You wouldn't care so much if you didn't. I notice the things you don't. I notice your jealousy. I notice the way you grab on tightly when we hug. I notice how you play things off and pretend not to care. I notice the look in your eyes when you look into mine. You want me too. So why can't we just give into one another? Let's forget about everyone else. Let's think of what's best for us for a change....

The next time you grab my hand, interlock our fingers.

The next time you hug me, hold on a little longer.

And the next time you kiss my nose?

Would you just miss and kiss my lips?


  • Current Mood
    tired tired