February 18th, 2005

(no subject)

I want you. But i want more than that. I want to rest my head on your lap and you play with my hair whilst we watch tv in silence. i want to play with your hands, look at all that they say. i want to be able to just be with you, listening to music. i want it to say everything neither of us can. i want that physical connection where i don't feel self conscious at all, i can have been out in the rain for hours, not bothered to have brushed my hair and look like a tramp and you still think i'm beautiful when i'm in my hoody and sweats. i want to look into your eyes and see a smile creep into them and butterfly kiss your nose. i want to be able to kidnap you whenever i want and you be perfectly fine with it. i want you to be able to tell me anything by saying nothing at all. and i want me to be able to fall asleep with your arm nestled round my waist, keeping me warm and safe. i want all those cute moments me and jd wrote down to happen with us. i want a moment with you, not just a fleeting connection through eyes across a couple of benches.

why did you apologise? why did you make me love you again? are you scared you'll sound stupid? cause i'll love you even more if you ever did sound stupid, it'd make me realise you're human. please please please tell me whats going on in your head, the amount of questions i have to ask you is driving me crazy, so god knows what its doing to you. i mean ok so lets go with the rational and that you like talking to me, otherwise why would you apologise. then why would it always seem like i have to make all the effort and you're not bothered and do it out of politeness?
  • Current Music
    frou frou-breathe in
  • cpc_795

to the boy who went back to that whore...

i was mad at him
cause he didn't give me any answers
that would satisfy this need
i was screaming and kicking
as he shoved me away
and he went back to her bed
i wanted to know
i was dying to know
what wasn't good enough in me

sure she may be pretty
and she'll squirm in your bed
screaming your name
but what about
all the things you said
oh the things you promised me
she might pull her hair
and wear her clothes revealing
but i cared
oh i genuinely cared

so i'm 20 now
and things are changing
and all i can think of
is you how you didn't call
to wish me the best
when you said you really cared
oh what is it in her
that is so appealing
is it her enticing stare
those pretty little fingers
the instability
that drags you down
the neediness
the greed
the fact that she squirms in your bed
oh i enjoyed you too much
held you within me too much
oh it just couldn't have been

but oh, what i wouldn't give to be her