February 1st, 2005

love will find a way, love did find a way.

Dear you,

Its that time again.. already? I tried to win your heart and I did in the summer. What made you change all of a sudden? I was still the same me. You know me. The loving, jealous fuck over here that thinks every man in the world wants to steal his gf because he believes shes the best looking and has the best personality in the world. I let it get to me. Im a fool. But what made you stop trying. I would never stop trying. Even if we are broken up or not. I have always tried to be there for you. I just really want to know why the hell you stopped loving me. You told me that the last 3 months have been viewed as a best friend point of view. What the hell is that? Ive been lied to for 3 months, played around and pushed around like a toy.. and I STILL LOVE YOU. whats that have to say for me? Im just dead crazy in love with you. You have always been my love. I cannot forget you. Why do you think I am up at 6 am. Writing you a letter that you might or might not read :-/. I just cannot give up this easily. I wish you just didnt give up this easily. You gave up 3 months ago so easily. I just want to know that. Break my heart and all. I just wanna know the truth. I never knew after all these months that I was still trying to win your heart, you know? I thought that was so last summer. Damn, You shouldve just told me seriously. I feel like the biggest fool. Going out everyday. Messaging you, kissing you, trying to talk to you. Trying to do everything to impress you but none of that mattered cause I was just a friend.. I wanna see you saturday. Please let me see you saturday. Please give US one last chance. Sunday, you said you were gonna try. Everytime you were gonna try. I thought everytime you were gonna try. Please try. Dont throw us away. Seriously please dont. :/ well Im done. Call me please. Thanks. I love you.. dont forget that

yours truly,



1. tell her that she's beautiful.
02. pick flowers and give them to her.
03. hold her hand wherever you go.
04. tell her she smells good.
05. cuddle with her.
06. let her pay if she offers.
07. tell her funny stories.
08. tell her what's on your mind.
09. tell her dumb stories.
10. tell her jokes.
11. tell her ANYTHING.
12. take her to concerts.
13. take her bowling.
14. take her to the movies.
15. take her out to dinner.
16. take her ANYWHERE.
17. open the car door for her.
18. open ANY door for her.
19. tell your friends she's awesome.
20. never, EVER forget her birthday.
21. write poems about her.
22. walk with her in the park.
23. carve your names into a tree.
24. sing to her, no matter how bad you are.
25. go to the beach and walk barefoot in the sand.
26. listen to her tell you about her wishes and dreams.
27. throw pebbles at her window.
28. get her mad, and then kiss her.
29. push her on the swings.
30. tell her she's cute.
31. tickle her. a lot.
32. let her win at games.
33. let her win the fights.
34. let her win just about anything she wants to.
35. call her; and if she calls, call her back.
36. take care of her when she's sick.
37. lend her your CDs.
38. teach her how to play the guitar.
39. write notes to her in study hall.
40. sit down and listen to music with her.
41. kiss her hand.
42. kiss her in the rain.
43. kiss her upside down (Spiderman).
44. just kiss her.
45. buy her ice cream.
46. get cute pictures of the two of you.
47. slow dance with her, even if the music is fast.
48. let her eat some of your fries at dinner.
49. explain to her why you like her.
50. be happy just being with her.
51. pick her up in your arms.
52. randomly show up at her house.
53. buy her flowers.
54. let her fall asleep in your arms.
55. give her piggy-back rides.
56. give her space if she needs it.
57. take her shopping.
58. pick her up after school.
59. look deeply into her eyes.
60. let her hang out with her friends.
61. actually sit down to watch a movie -- and watch it.
62. talk to her in the movie theater before it starts.
63. call her if her favorite song comes on the radio.
64. get her flowers on valentine's day.
65. play sports with her.
66. tell her that you really care about her.
67. try to make her laugh.
68. whisper in her ear.
69. don't get mad when she takes your mom's side.
70. remind her of the day you met each other.
71. leave her IMs while she's away.
72. text message her during school just to say hi.
73. when you're eating (a snack), feed her a couple pieces.
74. surprise her with something.
75. help her with her homework.
76. try and convince her that she's smart and pretty.
77. tell her she doesn't need to lose weight.
78. do something for her and don't ask for something in return.
79. buy her favorite movie for her.
80. tell her you were thinking about her. it will make her day.
81. give her a foot massage.
82. give her a back massage.
83. give her a shoulder massage.
84. hell, give her ANY kind of massage. *wink*
85. sit and watch the sunset with her.
86. be the first to say "happy anniversary."
87. sneak up behind her and hug her.
88. tell her a secret.
89. let her be able to rely on you.
90. don't be afraid to cry in front of her.
91. if she's sad, stay up at night on the phone with her.
92. trust her, and let her be able to trust you.
93. show your true colors.
94. have intelligent conversations with her.
95. be yourself around her.
96. have something to talk about. all the time.
97. know when to be serious.
98. don't pressure her to do anything.
99. be loyal to her.
100. tell her that you love her..

Boys take note!
  • Current Mood
    depressed i want to just fall...
Gun Sex

(no subject)

Dear you,
I love you. I have always loved you. I think I fell in love with you the very first time you smiled at me. I know I'm being sappy and romantic and pathetic but you always were more into that than I was so now it's my turn. I love you so much. You're so amazing I don't think you ever realized how much I loved you, I don't think I ever realized how much I loved you. I can't understand how you got so strung out, how you ever went so totally blasto that you ended up doing what you did to me. But really, all in all, I'm probably the sick one because I still love you. I'm terrified of everyone all the time, I think about it and I vomit, I cry for no reason, anyone touches me and I flinch, I shake like crazy, I want to be perfect so badly. And inspite of all that I still love you more than anything and it scares me to death, it scares me to think that I still love you and it scares me to think that maybe I will always always love you and I'll never get over you and I'll just spend the rest of my life being guilty, sad, sick, scared, lonely, angry, and out of control. I wish we could just rewind that first night we went out. I wish that maybe things could have gone differently, or that I could at least just erase it all but that's never going to happen. God I miss you so much babydoll I really do. I iss you more than anything and I love you more than anyone and I want you back so badly. It would be easier if you would just come back to me and then I could be with you and I could have that part of my you ripped out back again and I'd be whole and I'd be ok and you would love me and I could forgive you and we could be happy and everything would be perfect. It would be so much easier that way rather than me having to find ome way to take it all back and fix myself and deal with all this. I wish you would come back. I wish you would stop being everything I really really want and need in life. I wish you were dead. I wish you had never existed. I wish I could kill you. I wish I could hold you again. I wish you would kiss me the way you used to. I wish you were sorry. I wish you knew how I felt. I wish you felt guilty. I wish I could forgive you. I wish I could just die. I wish you didn't take up so much of me. I wish you weren't always there eating at me and making me volatile and dangerous and crazy and lonely and afraid and confused. I wish you still loved me. I wish I could cry about this. I wish I could deck you one right in the face. I wish I hadn't made you pull over. I wish I didn't feel like it was my fualt. I wish my life didn't seem like it was following Aristotle's definition of tragedy. I wish I wasn't such a geek that I would even know Aristotle's definition of a tragedy. I wish you would call. I wish I had never met you. I wish I could bring myself to light that cigar box I keep under the bed on fire and burn everything that reminds me of you. I wish......I wish......I wish this wasn't so hard. But it is. And I have to do it. But I want you to know that I love you so much I love you even if you are sick, and cruel, and selfish, and bad for me, and abusive, and crazy, and perverted, and wacked out, and on drugs. I love you. But I still want you dead for what you did. Maybe someday I'll be over all of this and I'll be able to think about you and not feel anything at all. I won't forgive you, but maybe I can at least get it all out so I just think of you as something that's dead and gone. I love you so much it makes me sick. But one of these days babydoll, one of these days, your not going to matter to me anymore and I'll get back waht you fucking cut out of me and I'll be able to say that I win.
I love you more than anything,
  • Current Mood
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Credit: <lj user="enchantastar">

(no subject)

Dear Melissa,

How could you have hurt him like that?

Seriously, just... how could you?

You're a heartless bitch and deserve every single one of those deep cuts on your thighs. Every single last one.

Serves you right for listening to what someone else whispered in your ear instead of asking him yourself.

I'm glad he's refusing to be intimate with you again. You don't deserve him. He's far too good for the likes of a little slut like you.

You think you're such a sweet little girl, but you chew people up and spit them right back out. Can't you see it? You're TERRIBLE.

I don't want to associate with you anymore.

And how could you have hurt him like that? How?


(no subject)

Dear you,
I love you so fucking much. You mean absolutely everything to me. I live to breathe the same air you are breathing. If you ever died, I would die too. I know you will probably never love me back {or even know how much you mean to me} but you are so amazing. Just thinking about you makes me happier than I've ever been. I thank God everyday for putting you in my life. Thanks for everything.
Love, Me.

(no subject)

Dear Heartbreaker,

You never knew this but I was starting to fall in love with you..and Even though you cheated on me..a peice of my heart still belongs to you..that is the peice of my heart that aches everytime I get your call..everytime you talk about some other girl to me..everytime I hear your voice..it hurts so much to still feel this way about you considering you don't feel the same for me..I know nothing will ever happen between us again..but I keep wishing it will..I don't know why I want you as much as I do..I shouldn't want you at all..but I want you more than i ever wanted anyone..I'm tired of thinking about you constantly..i'm tired of you being in my every thought from the time I wake to the Time I sleep..i'm tired of you not gicing a shit..If i'm tired of all these things why can't I get over you?..even more so..why do I want you back?

Truely yours
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    Dashboard Confessionals - agian it goes unnoticed