lying sack of shit...
stop being such an attention whore...
thats my job...
dear blazer and $140 i lost in lakeland,
i miss you
Please stop meaning everything to me?
When did you become such a fucking slut? I remember when you dreamed of just holding people in your arms and getting sweet little kisses on your forehead. I remember when you held your breath when I boy you liked looked into your eyes. I remember when you were self-concious to let someone see your shoulders or above your knees, for crying out loud. Oh, do I remember when.
Then, Dennis comes into your life. Your first real, steady boyfriend that lasted for more than a month. Incredible, wasn't it? You made out with someone for the first time in ages, you were held and cared for everyday. You grew accustomed to the sighs and lookings into your beautiful, brown eyes that show your soul so easily. You grew accustomed and went farther. With Dennis, you experienced practically all of the firsts other than actually having sex, which you still haven't done yet, thank God.
And ever since then, you've been so hungry for it all. You broke up with him on the 7th of this month, after cheating on him with a boy you'd known for two days. If you didn't have your period that day, you would have had sex with him! Why would you give your virginity away so freely to someone like that? Someone you hadn't even known for an entire week! I must say that I'm a bit ashamed in you.
But ever since the break up, you've been at Cameron's house practically every day. You kissed him the first day you hung out with him! You ended up naked and making out and feeling each other, and like I said previously, you were going to have sex with this boy. Who are you? Where did the little romantic Melissa run off to?
You and Cameron have both decided that neither of you are ready for a relationship yet, but it's cool to go ahead and practically do each other while about eight others are in the room. I doubt any of them would have been surprised if you two actually had started fucking. But I think you're starting to learn better than that. Or perhaps not!
Speaking of doing things with people you've just met, how about that Alex kid at Cameron's party last night? Yeah, sure, you two have known each other, just not personally. After a night of some cuddling, it's cool to start kissing and giving him a handjob while he fingers you and your almost-boy is sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed? And then (get this, it's really good), after Cameron kicks Alex out of the bed and lays down with you, what happens? You start making out with Cam, giving him a handjob, and he starts to finger you.
Weren't you always afraid and self-concious of getting fingered? Oh, and speaking of self-conciousness, weren't you always afraid of exposing your naked body? Then why in the WORLD does Cameron have a tape of you at his party last night, completely naked on his bed, with random boys's hands on you, and you bending over and all these other things. There were EIGHT boys at the party last night, you were the only girl. You barely knew half of them, and they still got to look (and some even feel) your completely naked body. And you just smiled and writhed under their hands when they told you to go into the porn business.
Who are you? Within the past month or so, you've become someone else. You've become someone so sexual and just... different. Is it really okay to do things like that, Melissa? Is it okay? I thought you used to FROWN on cheating and messing around with random people? And I thought you used to FROWN on porn and all that sort of thing, while now that idea appeals to you.
Who in the world have you become?
Better yet, who in the world have I become?