January 18th, 2005

(no subject)

Dear Boy
Fuck you. I never thought I would have to say this... But I actually hate you with a passion. All though I still love you somewhere deep inside of me. I still feel a great amount of hate for you. You have put me through the worst ordeal. You made me fall in love with you. Then you dumped me, then to make it all better you confused me.. and now you hate me. Now I hate hearing songs that you showed me, I hate hearing people talk about you. I hate hearing any emo song because it will most likely remind me of you. I cant even hear the words "drop it like its hot" without thinking of that night i spent with you. I dont even think you understand how much you hurt me, but I dont even think you care. Just to let you know I'm trying my hardest everyday to get over you. I try my hardest to stop thinking of you all together.. but its not at all easy. I found a guy who I like as much as I liked you, but we'll see where that goes and how well that goes. Maybe he'll be the one to help me get over you completely! I think he actually might be, as a matter of fact.. I told him all about what you did to me, and how you hurt me so much and he understood completely. I deffinately think I'll be over you soon if I still with this boy.
Yours Truly,
  • Current Music
    the gallow is god - the distillers
Gun Sex

Hey Alex, yeah, come on and listen to me

Yeah you, you crack head stoner emo kid with your bad hair your stupid glasses your idiot friends your bad cigarettes. I'm talking to you, you fucking masochist with your pathetic little scars you think you're something great but you've never seen anything like me. I don't guess you noticed Friday night but you're little cuts your sad face your bad music your stupid girl friend your drugs and your self pity is nothing compared to me. You shouldn't have ever started this yeah sure you're a little bit older than me but that's not saying much. You had better just lay down shut up and take it. Don't you ever...don't you ever....don't you.....don't ever....don't you........don't you ever fuck with me again. Never ever ever ever ever underestimate me again. Or I'm going to hurt you and you aren't going to like it.

  • Current Music
    "But Julian I'm A Little Bit Older Than You" Courtney Love

To You:

It's hard for me to explain
I'm young; I know.
It's difficult, even for myself to understand
But I believe that I
Truly do
love you.

...I hope I still do the same for you...
Love Always,
Your Sunshine After A Storm

Dear Tan,
You suck. Big time. Don't you ever try to take him from me. Even as a joke. You know how I feel about him. Go find your own guy and stop trying to steal your friends'. You've already shattered our trust; my trust at least.. yet we're still trying to friend you back. Don't ruin your second chance
-Your "Best Friend"

I've written to you before. I just wanted to say, you suck. Big time. And you also lose.
We've pulled through, and we're gonna keep going on. You can't stop us.
Haha in your face,
mee :]
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
by flavuh

(no subject)

Dear Heartbreaker </3 You made me cry every night for a couple months. I thought you loved me but i was wrong. You made me smile and laugh even if it was just a little while. Maybe it wasn't good enough, but I gave you all I could. Maybe if i had given you a reason to stay, maybe if i was more than all i could be. Maybe just maybe you would be here still holding me tight but deep down i know i did nothing wrong. It was you who hurt me, it was you who turned my life upside down untill i finally snapped and broke down and cried. I loved you with all of my heart but apparently that wasn't enough. I guess this is goodbye to all ive ever known... this is goodbye to my faith and trust i had put in you. </3 Broken Hearted
my smile

(no subject)


These words will never get to you, but I'll say them anyway. You're my best friend Jessica. And out of all the "best friends" I've had, you've been the best. But, out of all, you've damaged me the most. And I don't think you realize it. Or care.

I can't pinpoint exactly what it is about you that makes you a best friend. Maybe it's just that you're funny and open-minded and the most like me (in a totally opposite way). Maybe it's just because. I dunno, but you are. And it hurts me everytime you talk about going to a different highschool. Because, in the end, I'm going to be the one stuck at the exact same school, in the exact same environment, with everyday going exactly the same. Except you won't be there.

And when you hang out with Jimenez it crushes my heart and tears it into bits. I think I've actually grown a tiny resentment for her, although it might just be jealousy. I don't know if you'd understand this in anyway, seeing that Jimenez is probably YOUR best friend, but I can't go through that again. It'd be the second time she's done it and I'll probably go mad trying to keep a fucking smile and acting like it doesn't matter. You never saw that she only came to us (or, more accurately, YOU) when she couldn't be with Stephanie? Don't you see she only started hanging out with us now that Stephanie has named her in her mind (forever and always) "the liar; the snitch"?! GOD!! Although you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

You never laugh with me, you always get so fucking depressed and silent. And it fucking kills me. All those damn smiles and yells and playfulness is just so that I don't burst out crying right there before everyone. If it's me, just fucking tell me and get it over with. I'm sad and tired of being dragged around like some little fucking doll. And most of all, I'm tired of not having a reason to fucking hate you. Or yell at you, at least; just as you do with me.

Sometimes I don't think you realize how much I NEED you. Just writing this is making me hurt. Without you, I'd be stuck with all the people in our class that we hate and I really can't go back to that. I know I'm supposed to be able to be whole (to exist) on my own, but goddamnit, I'll do that later. For now, I need you, so don't leave me behind. Please?

But, most of all, Jessica, all I want to do is walk up to you and go "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" as loudly as possible. Just so you would see that you're not the only person that's upset.
battle of the bands

"immortal pain" im new here :)

stabs in my heart, never to heal. pain so intense, it doesn't seem real.

putting bandages on wounds that will never scar. leaving a trail of blood that reaches out so far.

yearning for an answer that i'll never know. the remedy for love is coming way too slow.

your kisses burn, my lips sting with pain. it boils like a fire, and i pray for rain.

the tears dribble down and bruise my once rosey cheeks. and i can't help but think of him, he cut thees wounds too deep.

of my broken hear remains, just one piece in the sand. a very fond memory, of a foever lost man. a memory of a boy holding a girl so dear, holding her hand, pulling her near.

now reality hurts...

i know i can't have you...

and you have someone new.

get out my life, and my now fragile heart.

if you gave back the key to it, i would still change the lock.

you brought me pain that will never end.

you said that you loved me, you'd stay with me 'til the end.

but this is the end of that hurt everlasting, with murmurs so rude,
rumors so nasty.

so please leave me, never come near me again...
leave me with the only thing you've given me, my long time friend....

the only thing i recieved from you that was real...

wors so hurtful, pain i still feel.
stabs that won't heal and cuts that won't scar.

what you gave me wasn't love, it wasn't true at all.

said in one day, then gone with the rain
all you've cause me is...

  • Current Music
    greenday - boulevard of broken dreams

(no subject)

dear you,

im not sure why i feel this way about you

distance means nothing to me it only makes me want to see you longer my words
just like a mentioned kiss with every letter they are growing stronger days go
by feelings, they go on unfortunately,
without you it will never snow in florida it's best to take your time conversation
cuts like glass i'm the calm before the storm i'm the second before the crash
i've been between myself for days i'm the hero of the year.
  • Current Music
    new found glory :the story so far:

"The truth in my heart"

"You got drunk the other night,
and let the truth slip out.
I don't think you meant to,
but you did.

And now, now I know
how you really feel.

I tried to run from it,
you tried to hide from it,
we both failed.

So that leaves us here,
in this complicated place.
Knowing that we love each other-
knowing we'll never be free.

You can trust me this time.
And I'll try and trust you.
No giving up on this future,
only this I promise is true."
  • Current Music
    "La Mer" (Charles Trenet)