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Friday, December 31st, 2004

Time Event
dear ____,

again i feel as tho theres no reason to get up...i feel as to theres no point. before i thouhgt is was because youd never....oh nvm..but now. now i realize thats nto why. im broken inside. liek a porcilen dall that fell of your top shelf. its horrible. ...im horrible.

this will be the last time..hopefully i write to you. not that i dotn want to. but where im going. i simply cant.

love you.
1 ||x
Dear you,
You're sewn into the fabric
The pieces of my life
I love you. I will always love you. & no matter how much loving you has hurt, and will hurt, I don't ever want to stop loving you.
The girl who use to be your neighbor
2 ||x
Dear you,
I love you. I love you more than I can say. And you're so very very far gone now. Sometimes it feels like you're on the other end of the world, but I'll still run to you whenever you need me. I love you so much. When you left I thought I might die. Something inside me got ripped out, and there's just this big smoldering hole. I tried him. He wasn't any good. In fact he was awful, he was god then he was awful. He just tore the hole up even wider, and now I need you more. Sometimes I get very very very lonely, but then I think about you and life's ok. Sometimes I want to die but then I remember you and I know that I could never ever ever leave you here alone. I love you. You mean everything to me. Sometimes I get horrified thinking that you're the greatest love I'll ever get. Or at least ever allow. I think about it now and I know that I have done horrible things to people. I know full well that there were people who nearly took your place, and now they're probably doomed to years of Fruedian therapy for the way I treated them. But at least they didn't take your place. No one will. I love you. I need you. With you is the only place I have ever belonged. And I'm not letting you go. Never. No matter what. I only get terrified that maybe with you all the way down there, maybe I'm shrinking to you.

Current Mood: lonely
2 ||x

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