(no subject)
Dear Justin,
How do you do it? It feels like it's been years since we've seen each other. Oh wait, that's right... it really has been that long. How the hell can you say "I love you" and then cut yourself off from me? All that this distance has done is let me invent a utopia in my mind. I know that you're everything I never wanted. I shouldn't even still think about you, but I do. And I shouldn't have ever fallen for you in the first place. All you do is drink and get fucked up in front of me. You know how much that hurts me. And I now realized that you gave me everything you could. But you also lied to me. Maybe it was to protect me from getting hurt again. But I always end up finding out the truth, and it hurts even more at that point. Just talk to me and tell me the truth. If you never wanna talk to me again, if you lied when you said we'd always be friends, then just tell me to my face. Stop running away, because it only makes me wanna run faster to you. I care and worry so much about you.
And I know I never had the courage to tell you this, but I do love you. All those times you told me you loved me, I shoulda said it back. There's so many things I shoulda realized, and so much I shoulda said. But why do I think this way? You're the one who fucked me over. How can you still mess with my mind after so long?
How do you do it? It feels like it's been years since we've seen each other. Oh wait, that's right... it really has been that long. How the hell can you say "I love you" and then cut yourself off from me? All that this distance has done is let me invent a utopia in my mind. I know that you're everything I never wanted. I shouldn't even still think about you, but I do. And I shouldn't have ever fallen for you in the first place. All you do is drink and get fucked up in front of me. You know how much that hurts me. And I now realized that you gave me everything you could. But you also lied to me. Maybe it was to protect me from getting hurt again. But I always end up finding out the truth, and it hurts even more at that point. Just talk to me and tell me the truth. If you never wanna talk to me again, if you lied when you said we'd always be friends, then just tell me to my face. Stop running away, because it only makes me wanna run faster to you. I care and worry so much about you.
And I know I never had the courage to tell you this, but I do love you. All those times you told me you loved me, I shoulda said it back. There's so many things I shoulda realized, and so much I shoulda said. But why do I think this way? You're the one who fucked me over. How can you still mess with my mind after so long?