December 15th, 2004

you never ever believed in mee

Dear Anoyone who will listen,
The past year has been such a drag
And im so tired constantly, every so often i go through fazes of crying in the morning and i feel like i want to die during the day, my only safehaven was my room, but we got burgled, and they went in there, so now i have nowhere safe, and its a constant struggle to smile and keep up appearances
Im pretty sure its what everyone else feels when theyre 14 and i know that im 'not the only one with problems'
I think my mums depressed and i dont want to annoy her by showing my face
I think the only reason im still sane are my friends
They are the best. Ever.
I would just like someone to tell me that im not alone.
Thats All I Want
Thanks for listening,
  • Current Music
    nyliraMManson - Tourniquet

(no subject)

Dear you,
Who are you? Please remind me because you don't make me happy anymore. Now it just hurts.
I still love you, I still like you, I still want to fuck you. I still care.
I'll miss you next year.
Will you miss me?

my only


i dont kno y but i love you still! i hate that we cant even talk and i hate more than ne thing that you cant be hinest with me! if u moved on then yes it will hurt but it hurts more when you lie about it! i love you so much an di knno you dotn love me that way or at all and that kills me, but i guess if your happy then i need to let it go, im sorry if i put you through shit! i dont mean to, i just have problems and i kno that now... maybe someday we can talk again but as of now i think i will let you go....

  • Current Mood
    crushed crushed

sarcastic anger... why me?

Dear 2004,

Thanks for being a great year! I'm sure that being unable to attend college, or my 6 failed relationships, my 7 months of unemployment, and my mothers recent job loss were all worth it, right?

Now to set off into the end of the year with a bang, lets hope its a good one!

Happy Holidays,


(no subject)


oh the special you.
that can insult me whenever but it all goes away with one simple hug of friendship that feels more like friends.
does it make you feel proud?
that you can patronize anyone you would like, you can fake out anyone you would like, because you really think your that attractive and that good with your charm skills.

well perhaps your right.
with all those girls who jus need one look from you and giggle, yeah you absolutly right.
but with me, someone whose known you for three years, yes not that long but long enough to see you for who you really are, won't fall for it anymore.

it took me a long time not to fall for it, being the vuneralble 13-year-old girl that i am, jus waiting for an easy way in to flirt with a guy. yes that is all the parents think of us rebelious teenage girls now isnt it.
and thats why you love it, because thats your perfect job.

stop patronizing me, stop thinking everything can go away just because you tell me you love me, not that ill believe it when you say but, but just stop.
it doesnt work on me.
and it never will again.

and thats one more girl you can scratch off your list of knowing what your really like these days.