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Thursday, November 25th, 2004

Time Event
1:20p
Ricky,

Why? Why did you throw it all away for a girl? A girl your family despises. I wonder every day what goes through your feeble mind. Where do you think you're headed in life? Will you end up with a pregnant girl friend and out on the streets? Will you look to me for help? I can tell you I don't have much more to offer you. I'm running on empty. You drained me with you lack of responsibilty and appathetic attitude towards life. Will you and I still remain friends? Will you evey talk to me again, or even as so much say hi? Ricky, I love you but what you did hurt us all. Your family is letting you go. Do you know that?? They let you leave. No one stoped you. How does that make you feel? No one bothered to stop you. They miss you Ricky, they really do.

Being your ex they called me. They informed me. Not you. You didn't even bother to call me. Your parents care Ricky. I know they do. They love you with all their hearts. Why do you think they let you go? You're only 18 you need them. They need you. You hurt them. Your mother cares so much that she called me and told me. I'm always there for your family and they know that. She can call me anytime Ricky, so can you. But I don't know how since they cut off your cell phone and you're never online anymore.

I hope she's worth it Ricky. I hope you stay with her forever but ten again I don't. Once you break up you have no where to turn to. No education and your family may be closing the door. I know they may open it for you but then again they might not. Do you even have a job to support her? There are so many questions you need to think about.

Think and think hard.

Your friend,
Love_is_leaving
x
2:39p
I'm sick of predictable people.
"LOOK AT ME! I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE!".
Just shut up. You've got to be kidding me. You sound like an idiot. Stop spinning. Stop dreaming. Stop being an unintelligent person. You're not in love. You caved into a weak fragile state of mind that makes you dumb. CONGRATULATIONS!. So instead of the routine, why dont you "swallow" something substantial? Something worth the shame..
x
4:51p
...
Lauren
Thank you for everything you've done for me. You mean more to me than you'll ever know, you're my lifeline,and have saved me more times than i can remember. you're more than just a best friend, you're my soulmate. i hope to god that you never feel the need to leave...to get rid of me,cuz i love you too much to let you go away. love you sweetheart.
for forever
Jen
xxx
x
9:01p
so today is thanksgiving.
i'm not thankful for anything. i miss you and i want you to be mine once again. maybe i'm selfish. i'd do anything for you... i'm in love.
x
9:56p
dear all of you:

happy wild bird day, here's a song for this special day we celebrate:

o turkey o turkey above all the birds we eat you less
o turkey o turkey above all the birds we eat you less
your feathers look pretty in the trash
b/c my grandma's gonna smoke yo ass
o turkey o turkey above all the birds we eat you less

i love you all. have a good day.
x
10:33p
stream of consciousness.
so let's assume for two minutes here that you have nothing to lose, and i've just given you all that you lack. where do you go from here? when you close your eyes, what do you see? i've always tried to pry into other peoples lives by imagining what they're thinking. i make up their occupations, their habits, their nervous tics and i play out the scenes in my mind. i used to think that these conversations were enough to keep me breathing. and then i realized that i needed something more, something tangible. when you wake up in the morning, what is it you want to see? the light that slants through the shades and nearly blinds you? the bare branches swaying outside your window? the long pale scars on your arm? the quiet face of that tangible someone? something about the way you move, and the way your jaw tenses when you're frustrated and the way your eyebrows come together when you're confused...there's something about you that i can't put my finger on. i wonder how someone like you could be placed here right in front of me under my very eyes and i could have overlooked you for so long. in a perfect world you would live your life day by day as a demi-god. no flaws, no fractures, just laser precision. i want to be there when the walls come crashing down. i want to be there when the world ends, when there's no tomorrow. i want to be there so i can tell you how much i love you, and how nothing else matters.
1 ||x

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