November 19th, 2004

i'm not...

(no subject)

dearest zach,
you are such an asshole! i told you not to tell me that unless you meant it! you told me yesterday that you felt the same way i did. and today you ignore me?! i don't ever want you to look at me! i don't want you to hug me! hell i don't want you to touch me! ever! i'm so into you and you don't even care! i'm just some girl who just happens to love you with everything she possesses! just another heart to toy with and wrap around your finger! you do it so well.
when i'm with you i feel so happy, the touch of your skin makes me feel safe, you make me feel like you care. you smell so good, all i ever need is for you to wrap your arms around me and hold me. you make me happy. then you do some assholish thing to piss me off!
and you know that i'll forgive you
and you know i'll come running back
and you know i'll pretend to push you away
but this time i'm not going to do that
i'm not gonna wrap my arms around you and stare into your blue eyes
i'm not gonna ask for your forgivness
i'm NOT going to speak to you and see how you deal without me, even as a friend for a while, see how you like being deserted.

the sad part is...i'm afraid you won't even notice i'm gone...

if i knew that the last time i held you would be the last, i wouldnt have let you go.........
  • Current Music

(no subject)

"and it's hard to say how i feel today.a year's gone by,and i's hard to say that i was wrong when i said that it's not hard to say goodbye...i miss you dearly....since you've been gone it's not the same." RIP Carl Anthony Robles....1/22/85-11/21/03.
Carl~well its been a year since you went away....gosh do i miss you...just the though uv seeing you brightend my day..your no longer here for my to see you but dont think that has changed n e thing...i miss you so much....i wish i could see you one last time...but i know well meet again in a much better place....~Jill~
  • Current Mood
    crappy full of tears

I was over it before.. but you brought me back to where i begin.

"I hope everytime he breaks your heart
you think of me
and how I was to you
i hope he loves you like i did...

and i dont know where to begin... since you left me for him

I thought we'd be together forever.
But it seems I was wrong
and everything's falling apart.
Think of what I've done for you.
Think of all that we've been through.
I hope every time he breaks your heart you think of me
and how I was to you.
Everything's falling apart.
One day you'll see just how good I was.
....and I thought that we'd be together forever.


i know youre sorry. but this time, i really really really dont know if i can just put it aside, and look past it like all the other times.
and when i think of it, it kills me.
and really doesnt make me want to think otherwise
ive heard one too many lies? i donno.
everything just sounds like a big counterdiction
this isnt meant to be mean...but i really dont think youll miss taking me for granted "

Mother fucker,
Never thought id have to write once again.. another letter to you.
Since the fact were done, those two years are fucking over, and they still are.
I never "left you for him"
I never left you in the fucking first place. Your idea, i simply agreed to it.

It shouldnt fucking matter to you who i like now..
it never did before. Why now?
Stop judging Tom, you dont know him, you dont need to know him.


I dont wanna hear it, if you wanna let me know something.. tell me.
Dont let the whole world see it asshole.

I hate that these words are killing me..
i hate that your getting what the fuck you want.

You love seeing me upset... you love it most when you can hear my heart break.
I guess your getting what you love, right fucker?!

No more "9-28-02"
No more songs, or anything else that would fucking make me think of you.
No more "all that weve been through"... or those fucking "myfirstlove"
No more crying over you.

Im done.

  • Current Music
    "over it"-rufio