I'm living in your letters.. Breathe deeply from this envelope|
[Most Recent Entries]
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
i've known you for quite some time now, and i dont know whats the deal anymore. after all we have been through,you want to just leave;walk out. i've spent some great times with you, and now its like they didnt mean shit. i question everything you have said to me. were you being serious, or were you just lying. feelings for me, when you are how old. and feelings for me when we hardly see eachother. pick up the bullshit, i cant keep listening to these lies. ive tried to keep some distance from you, but you still keep coming back..wanting more. your always taking more & more away from me, its making me sick. i wish you would grow to be a man, and fucking either be with me, or tell me how you really feel and what you really mean when you tell me you have feelings for me. Cause im not believeing anymore of what you say and i have so many reasons for why not too. i just wish that you would stop calling and bothering me. i know that there will never be an 'us'. so drop it and let it be...matter fact, i changed my mind. move, get out of this state.. get as far away from me as possible.
forget everything &me... Current Mood: cynical
i love you, i fucking love you! thats why i told you to let go of me, thats why i told you to not touch me. your skin makes me shiver and every waking moment i'm in contact with you i fall more into you. i asked you to let go, i begged, i pleaded, but still you had to hold me as i fell down. still you had to kiss me. still you had to look at me with those gorgeous blue eyes of yours like you loved me, like you felt something for me. god i'm pathetic. and then you leave me alone, just standing there, did you even think of me as you walked away? i confessed something today i hoped would never reach your ears. i love you so much and i don't want you to hurt me. please don't hurt me. if everything i ever felt for you would be released maybe then youd see.
i've never loved anyone this much ever before,
i hate you. i hate what you have done to me. i hate you so much! i cant explain all the pain you have put me through. for the past 3 months i just cry every night from the heartbreaking things you said to me. you cut me down, made me feel horrible about myself. i loved you with all my heart and now i know that you never felt the same. it was all a damn lie.
i wish i could drown you in my fucking tears.