bear with me folks....
every time we talk, i cry. every single fucking time. i am not used to shedding tears for reasons that aren't vile. you make me see inside myself & backwards through the looking glass. i can breathe behind the curtains when your voice is in my ear. this reality is fated, sure....& once again all i can do is speak in prose:
a damp &torrid evening, the interference of static.
a watercolour sky bleeds into grey.
the ribbons of my life streaming down from the clouds.
the eventual dawn is thin &erratic.
the steam from my coffee clouds my reflection over &i say baby no, don't look into that mirror. your eyes might see something they shouldn't. i take a sip &it is a slice of warmth in an otherwise cold world.
&here i am sitting in my bedroom, but my head is somewhere up in the atmosphere. a child's lost balloon.
the hours seem to stretch out in front of me
roads i cannot travel without you.
&i am interrupted by night
the wool has been pulled over my eyes
it falls like a guillotine & darkness means death. i step out into the endless black, where a million eyes watch me.
i am half sick of this blindfold. i am half sick of waiting for you to come running to tell me you're sorry you took so long. &you say no no, this is it. what we've all been waiting for. this is what we were headed towards.
hand in hand, we will walk to the grass
you will swallow all my poison
&we will lay down to die with the earth
we'll let the trees grow all around us
let the days drift slowly overhead, as clouds
yeah we'll let time just wash over us.
xx kitten incognito.