November 5th, 2004


(no subject)

Dear Bryan,
yah know, I've written about 20 letters to you. Some of them I thought that maybe just maybe I would send, but I never sent any of them, except for those two. I wish I hadn't sent those two because it changed what little hadn't changed between us. It was good to finally let go and tell you that I still love you, and I'm glad you know, not that it matters seeing as you have a new life that doesn't involve me, but just because it needed to be said. So much has changed between us in so little time. You were my boyfriend and my best friend. I don't mean that in the way that all teenage girls say.. but you really were my best friend - I trusted you with everything and that is something hard for me to do. You went from being all that to me.. to being almost a stranger. To be honest, when you moved to Boston you changed completely, you're not the same person that I knew. Maybe it's good, maybe it's not - either way I still love you - I always will love you and maybe not in the romantic way - but the way I must love anyone who I trust as much as I trust you. What hurts more than anything is how you've chosen to ignore me since I told you that I love you. I know that she is important to you and that you love her more than anything - but I don't need your love.. I just need you to me that you won't forget me. I'm so scatter brained right now - I can't keep any of my thoughts straight and it's all because of you - you've infected my mind with memories and with questions. Bah.. none of this makes any sense, I know. I just need more closure that what we had. I don't want closure at all but if we have to come to this - if we're just going to be memories and nothing else.. will you atleast say goodbye? will you atleast tell me you love me one more time so that I have something to remember?

I'll always be your Jenny-Bear...
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hey yeah im just gonna tell you now cuz im all lossened up and dont care what you think after this...i mean yea im scared that you wont speak to me after this or youll be awkard but this is not good just to keep it inside...i like you...i think your cute....i think your a sweethart....what you just think is just annoying or play around fighting with me is my way to flirt and say hey i like you yea so sorry if this makes you awkard or that has to change our friendship cuz i dont want it to change at all i like it how it is if it goes further then i would like that too but prolly not so yea gonna stop rambling now and maybe sometime soon ill give this to you well later
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