November 3rd, 2004

(no subject)

dear Barrett,

how can i say that i have mixed emotions about you? i love you and hate you, i like what you do and yet i hate it all. the things you say, the way you ignore me, the way you call my emotional poetry about you 'cute.' when you dunno what to say, it makes me sad and wanna cry deep inside. see the scars on my wrist? you did that to me. you did it to me emotionally. i cry about you at night, i think about you during the day. your name is always on the tip of my tongue, you face is a constant image in my mind. the way we look into each other's eyes, the feel of your arms around my thin body, to even hear you breath is a joy to me, but why am i not the one you want? or am i? i can't tell with the way you shy away from me and you weird ways of saying hi, oh well. i still love you.

-Shan