I question love a lot. Especially our love. I think it is specifically my love for you. Nothing is what I am used to, not you, not this place, not the demands of the school, least of all myself. How are you supposed to recognize me if I can barely recognize myself?
Somedays I don't think you listen to me. At the very least, you don't know what I need you to respond to and when I need you to just be quiet. Last night, when I was reminiscing about all those long years and hours of ballet, you just turned to me and said, "i'm a guy, I don't care about ballet." when you shouldn't have been focused on the ballet part, but the remorse I was feeling for having quit so abruptly. I was nearly in tears and you said that
. If you were trying to get back at me for something stupid I said, you did it very well.
Then there are times like tonight where you tell me that you're planning out a big romantic gesture. Great. watch my excitment never happen. I don't like those. They make me uncomfortable. You think it's because I have never recieved them. Maybe that is partially true, but I know full well that I cannot do anything to reciprocate it. I would rather have a simple gesture than anything big.
Don't try to fix me, baby. I am fine and dandy as I am. If there are any problems, it will someday boil down to relationship incompatability. That is a note to end on.
So we'll end with this.
Hear me, please. Listen and take note. Learn which words are heartily meant and which are half-ass attempts at opinion.
If you can do that, we will never have a worry.